Bun in the Oven

She's Here!

2011-06-21T11:00:00.000-07:00

Clara Elizabeth was born June 14th. Birth story and all will now be on my family blog.

Picture comparisons

2011-06-07T07:38:00.000-07:00

I had planned on doing this earlier so the weeks would be the same, but hey. I wanted to compare my baby bellies. The first picture is me at 34 weeks with Tyler and the second is me at 37 weeks with Clara. I know it's 3 weeks difference, but its still comforting that my 37 weeks picture is bigger than my 34 weeks picture since size has been such an issue this pregnancy. That's got to mean growth right?

Tyler

Clara

Finally!

2011-06-03T09:19:00.000-07:00

So they never called, but I had an appointment yesterday and finally got the results of my ultrasound - AFTER I asked about it. He was all ready to send me out the door and I meekly asked, "ummm what about my ultrasound???" Oh yes, that thing I sent you in for to scare the pants off you. Well, he doesn't seem too worried anymore which is a good thing, but according to the numbers she still isn't really growing much. As of this last ultrasound she is in the 22nd percentile which is 12 percent lower than the first one. I know he told me 45th percentile initially, but apparently he meant 34th because that's what he told me yesterday. But he asserts that every ultrasound at this stage has a 10 percent standard deviation on both sides so she is probably fine. He didn't tell me anything about her measurements so I'm guessing if he's not too worried that they at least increased a little. He said he is not worried about a chromosomal defect, because if it were to show up, it would have showed up earlier, or IUGR as they have to be below the 10th percentile for that to be an issue. Phew! a sigh of relief there. He said most likely its nothing or a genetic defect - being a problem with her metabolism (aka liver, kidney, intestines, etc). But those are fairly rare so most likely its nothing, she's just small. Really small apparently. But I hold to me my belief that these ultrasounds are notoriously off. I've heard so many stories of babies being in these low low percentiles and then coming out quite average or vice versa, being in high percentiles and coming out smaller. He said that since her movement is good, which it is thank goodness, and I have no risk factors things are probably fine.

However, he went ahead and sent me in for an NST yesterday to check heart rate and amniotic fluid level. Good news is that she has plenty of fluid surrounding her and the nurse/technician lady giving me the NST said that usually if there is a problem with the baby or the placenta the amniotic fluid would be low so YAY! Another good sign! Her heart rate was a bit high, but she didn't seem overly concerned - just reminded me to drink more water. Her movement, like I said earlier, was also good, so good news all around. Pretty much at this stage we just wait for her to come. There is no way to know if there is a metabolic problem until she's born and obviously her size is pretty much a guessing game until she's here - so wait and see it is.

I am feeling a bit worried, but mostly confident that everything is fine. All signs point to a healthy (albeit small) baby. Good amniotic fluid level, good movement, healthy mommy, some growth (I think), and I remember at my last ultrasound the technician pointing out her bladder and tummy being full, which in my mind means she's at least giving that metabolic system a workout, and all her organs looked good at her level II ultrasound months ago and I don't see why that would have all of a sudden changed. All in all, unless there is a problem that has gone undetected, which does happen occasionally, she is fine. I'll be 37 weeks (full term!) tomorrow and as much as I want her here already, I want to give her as long as possible to grow grow grow so hopefully I'll go my last 3 weeks.

Don't Worry. . .

2011-05-26T13:46:00.000-07:00

I feel better now. I had my night of freaking out and now I'm good. I still don't know the results, but that's ok. Two things happened. First, it seems like every time I feel I have a worthy cause to throw a pity party over, I find out about someone who has it so so so much worse and I kind of wake up and realize whoa what are you crying about? I had that happen to me yesterday twice and I felt terribly ashamed of myself. Ashamed of the stink I was making about something that wasn't even an issue for sure. Something that most likely would end up being fine. Ashamed that it took someone else's pain to show me what I had/have to be grateful for. So, I kind of snapped out of it and looked at my life and had a bit of a change of heart.

Second, I had an epiphany yesterday evening as I was driving home from work. I had been worrying about what ifs all morning and then at some point in the day I became too busy to think about what ifs and I forgot and stopped worrying. Then, when I got in my car and had gone maybe a mile a little thought came: "Hey, remember your baby might have something wrong with it." It was the strangest thing because it really came as a little voice like that. And then without fail another little voice said, "You don't HAVE to think or worry about this. Why choose to worry about something you have no control over?" It was almost like having a devil and an angel on my shoulders like in cartoons. Now, its not like I didn't know worrying was a choice or that I'd never thought of that before, but for some reason it was different this time. It really became a choice this time. I don't know really how to explain it. And hopefully the next time I have something to worry about (because believe me, I will find something else to worry about) I will be able to make the same choice. It was like I finally saw worry for what it was - a thing draining me of vitality and love and joy and I was able to erase it just like that. I really don't know how else to explain it. I don't know if it was just a little tender mercy for me when I needed it most or if I am finally starting to learn how to deal with my worry wart complex or both, but whatever it was I'm glad because since then I have been able to focus on the things that matter, the things I have control over. I am hoping for the best outcome possible for this little girl and I am grateful for experiences that wake us up and remind us what we have to be grateful for and the power we have over our own thoughts and feelings.

Follow up Ultrasound

2011-05-24T22:03:00.000-07:00

I had my follow up ultrasound today. I don't know the results yet. Oh how I wish that they would just let me see a doctor so I didn't have to play this waiting game! I was able to see the screen this time (whether the technician knew it or not I'm not sure). At first I thought oh haha now I can figure things out on my own without having to wait! YIPEE!! Then after watching, I realized this was not a good thing. I figured out that on the screen it showed the gestational age for each measurement. I only figured this out towards the end so I only saw the last few measurements. But those last few measurements just fueled my worry. I know they take multiple measurements since there is so much room for error the bigger the baby gets so, like I said, I'm only going off the last few I saw, which probably isn't a good idea in itself. But nonetheless, I looked and I saw and now I'm worried. The measurement I saw for her head was 34 weeks and some days. Not bad. I am supposedly 35 weeks and 3 days so about a week or so behind, which I think is considered pretty normal (but we already knew her head was normal). The measurement I saw for her femur, however, was at 32 weeks and some days. That is quite a bit smaller. And thanks to google - or no thanks to google - a short femur length is a marker for down syndrome. Yay something else to add to my list of worries. I didn't catch a gestational age for her abdomen but I think I remember the cm measurement and from what I remember it put her abdomen at about the same gestational age as her femur - 32ish weeks - small again. Now I'm hoping that if I'm right about that measurement that her abdomen still grew. Since my last ultrasound was at 32 weeks and it was smaller at that time then a measurement of 32 weeks 3 weeks later would indicate some growth right? And yes, I do notice a lot of problems with my logic. First, I'm going off only the few measurements I saw. Second, I have nothing to compare it to since I never got the actual measurements from my last ultrasound so for all I know she could be growing right on target, just on the small side. And third, I could have read or understood these all completely wrong. Oh WHY DID I LOOK? There's a reason they usually turn the screen away from you. I want another level II ultrasound so I can have a real live doctor show me and tell me everything. UGH! Stupid Kaiser. This time when they call I'm asking for a detailed rundown of everything! I don't want to be left in the dark again. I hope they call soon. Oh please oh please call soon!

AHHHHHHHH!

2011-05-16T11:04:00.000-07:00

Seriously this is getting ridiculous! Today I had a prenatal appointment and my measurements were "ok" and the heart rate was good. When I asked him about the ultrasound results he told me she measured in the 45th percentile. I'm not sure if that means weight, height or both. Anyway, that is a decent measurement. Then as I was waiting for the nurse to schedule my next appointment he called me back into his office and told me that while her head had measured fine, her abdomen had been small. What in the world!? Then why did the nurse call me and tell me that everything looked good?? She even said that she had a perinatologist look at it. She assured me several times that everything was good. So WHAT IS GOING ON? Again, I didn't have the wherewithal to ask him any of that or how small her abdomen was. All I know is that it's small enough to cause him some concern. And not sure if that's a serious concern or a "just in case" kind of concern like last time. Anyway, he did tell me that this could mean asymmetrical IUGR which is usually a problem with the placenta. Because the brain is a vital organ it gets the majority of the blood so the head grows, but the lesser organs (aka bowel, liver, skin, etc) get placed on the back burner and she doesn't develop as much fat. Another term is "chronically starved." Isn't that a lovely phrase? I'm gaining weight like crazy, but she isn't! Anyway, he ordered another ultrasound to check the growth of the abdomen. The poopy part is that you need at least 3 weeks between ultrasounds to get an accurate rate of growth so it won't be for about another 2 weeks. That is a much longer wait then last time.

The good news is that asymmetrical IUGR is better than symmetrical IUGR. Symmetrical IUGR is usually a problem with the baby and it develops during the beginning of pregnancy, while asymmetrical IUGR is a problem with the mother/placenta and it develops during the third trimester. Basically, her brain and major organs should be ok it's just me starving her and her poor lesser organs aren't developing like they should! Most the time the babies catch up in weight and height within the first year. As far as I read there are little to no developmental delays (since the brain is spared - actually it's called the brain sparing effect) and that most asymmetrical babies have an excellent long term prognosis. Labor and right after delivery for these babies is the scariest part. Because the placenta isn't working well, these babies have a higher chance of all sorts of complications and labor has to be monitored very closely. Apgar scores can be lower, they have a higher chance of spending time in the NICU and all sorts of other things. Sometimes, depending on severity and what not, a c section is the better option. Even then these babies have a harder time right after birth. Still birth and post birth mortality rates are also higher, but not by too much. I think as long as they monitor you closely you're fine. There are obviously chances that the organs that got kind of left out will have problems too, but over time those generally catch up and gain all normal function. Some studies show babies with asymmetrical IUGR have a higher chance of developing hyperactivity, diabetes, hypertension, and obesity, but if that is the case its just a higher chance and we can combat that with good eating habits and exercise. The other good thing is that if this next ultrasound does give her a diagnosis of asymmetrical IUGR I will be 36 weeks and some days so even if they do have to take her I'll be practically full term. Much better than the 32 weeks I was last time. I think induction is the usual course of action depending on the severity of the IUGR since she isn't getting the nutrients she needs from me and can get them better from the NICU. Sometimes I think they prescribe bedrest if it's not too bad. UGH! But being as far along as I will be it wouldn't be for too terribly long. All in all, it isn't the worst diagnosis in the world and for the most part babies with asymmetrical IUGR end up perfectly healthy and normal. I don't have ANY of the risk factors that can contribute to asymmetrical IUGR so hopefully this is nothing. I'm trying not to worry and I'm praying that her abdomen catches up and that this ultrasound shows normal growth and that this was another "just in case" from a very careful doctor. I am grateful that he is so careful and double checks everything. I'd much rather have these extra ultrasounds and deal with a little worry then have a serious problem get overlooked. She may be here sooner than we think - or may not. I'll know in a couple weeks.

The Long Stretch

2011-05-13T13:58:00.001-07:00

Could my third trimester possibly go any slower? I'm 34 weeks todayish. Remember when I was 30 weeks? Yeah, me too. And that feels like an eternity ago - not just 4 weeks. Sometimes I feel like I'm never going to have this baby. I'm just going to be pregnant the rest of my life! Come on June. Get here already! The sad part is once June finally does get here I still have almost the entire month to wait. And I really do want to wait. As tired as I am of being pregnant I am not one of those women that reach 37 weeks and starts trying to induce labor. I have a firm belief that the closer to your due date, the better for your baby. There's a reason pregnancy goes 40 weeks. And that reason is not just to drive you crazy, although that is definitely accomplished in the process. At least at 37 weeks I can stop worrying about preterm labor. This girl is so low that sometimes I feel like she might just fall out.

Aside from the pregnancy doldrums I feel really good. My pelvic pain is gone, she moves, and because she is so low I can breathe pretty well. I mean really for 34 weeks I am doing good. I have a lot to be grateful for and then I get all bummed that I have six weeks left and then I get more bummed that I'm not enjoying every minute of pregnancy. Is it ok to not enjoy every minute of pregnancy - especially when your pregnancy is going so well? Shouldn't I be rejoicing and shouting my joy from the rooftops? Can't I be bummed and rejoiceful at the same time? Grateful yet ready? Happy yet bored? Cuz that's what I am. I am both of all those things. Well, I guess I can be all those things, I just need to focus on the more positive aspect of my pregnancy conundrums. So here's to six more weeks of an AWESOME, STUPENDOUS, FANTASTIC, MARVELOUS pregnancy. (and I really do hope it's six more weeks - no more no less).

Ultrasound Results

2011-05-08T06:50:00.001-07:00

On Friday I got the results of my ultrasound. By then I wasn't too nervous anymore. I figured that had there been something wrong or at least something really wrong they would have called me. However, I still got a really nervous feeling when I saw the number on my phone. Luckily, everything looks great! Amniotic fluid levels, her growth, everything!! I am so grateful that she is ok! And I am so grateful for prayers! I'm getting so excited to meet this little girl!

Ultrasound Picture

2011-05-05T08:20:00.000-07:00

It scanned in really small, but hey. You can see her little profile. So cute! There she is at 32 weeks and a few days.

Ultrasound Update

2011-05-04T20:34:00.001-07:00

They called me yesterday to schedule an appointment!! What a relief! I was about to go insane thinking I would have to wait 48-72 hours just to schedule my appointment, which is what they initially told me. Ok Kaiser you have redeemed yourself. And even better: they were able to fit me in yesterday evening! Double points Kaiser. The only bad part: The ultrasound was with a technician, not a doctor, so I still don't really know anything. The technician said if there was something to worry about I would get a phone call in the next couple days, otherwise I would discuss the results with my doctor at my next appt. Which is in two weeks - boo. Patience is not one of my finer qualities. After tomorrow it will have been a "couple days" so I'm still kind of waiting in anticipation. I'm hoping that if something were really wrong, like something that could be causing the baby distress, they would have called me by now. That seems like a fair assumption, right? The fun part: I got to see her and actually got a picture this time around! I will have to scan it in so I can post it. She's really low - like I thought - and her head is down, which is good. He did say she had a strong heart beat! She is still moving quite a bit and that is usually a good sign.

In other baby news: I think I had some braxton hicks contractions today. It seemed like every time I stood up everything would harden up, but I don't know if that was my uterus or just the baby pushing against my stomach. I don't remember ever having any with Tyler so it's hard for me to tell. I've been taking it easy tonight just to make sure though.

I also have almost no pelvic bone pain today! YIPEE!! I can move!! I don't know why it has gotten so much better, if she moved, or it moved or what, but I won't question it. I'm just happy I can move without wincing in pain. Let's hope this sticks around.

Anyway, I will update more as soon as I know anything, which will hopefully be soon.

Ultrasound - - - Again

2011-05-02T13:10:00.001-07:00

This baby is destined to give me premature gray hair. First, and far less important, my literal pain in the bum became almost incapacitating yesterday. Everything was fine in the morning, but at some point in the afternoon I did something that did something to my pelvic bone that made every single movement nearly unbearable. I spent the evening in tears as I tried to do things that only amounted to more pain. The tears continued as I was unable to do something as simple as lift my baby onto the couch to cuddle with me. Mark had to take over and do all the night time routines and put Tyler to bed. It's amazing what all of a sudden becomes important when you can't do it anymore. There were definitely nights previous to this that I wished Mark would take over so I could relax. Last night I realized how much it meant to me that I could be the one to brush Tyler's teeth, read him a story, sing him a song, rock him, and put him to bed with a kiss. I just cried and cried as I listened to Mark do it. So some of it was probably the hormones, but I started imagining what the next 8 weeks would be like if I couldn't do all the things that I was used to doing. That, obviously, brought on more tears. I finally went to bed to mope in my misery. It was some point after this that a streak of stubborness finally kicked in. I have 8 more weeks of this pregnancy, give or take, and I will not live like this. So I started practicing how to move, how to support my pelvic bone and tail bone so that the pain wasn't as severe. I also asked Mark for a blessing and prayed my own little heart out that I would be able to persevere through this and be blessed to know how to manage so I could still be my baby's mommy. This morning, though still in pain, things are better. I have learned a few new techniques that allow me to move more freely. I am so grateful that so far I am still able to get around and, for the most part, do things. I've even been able to pick up Tyler and play with him - albeit in a slightly modified manner. I hope that I will continue to learn and be able to work through this.

Now for the other news. I had a regular prenatal appt today and I had planned on focusing the majority of my appt on my pelvic pain and what to do about that. Well, she had other plans. The second the doctor started measuring and doing the outside palpations I could tell he was concerned. My heart sank - what now? He asked me how big Tyler had been at birth, how tall Mark and I were, how her movements were. He then told me that from his guess and measurements she was measuring small for her gestational age. He wanted me to go in for another ultrasound to check her growth and the amniotic fluid level. The water works were about to start up again. ANOTHER ultrasound? My little heart can't handle anymore scares with her! My immediate thought went back to my level II ultrasound that I had had earlier. Isn't measuring small a marker for all the defects they had been looking for then? Had they missed something? Was something actually wrong with her? As my mind swam, the doctor continued to tell me that it was a small suspicion since she was still moving well, but he wanted to make sure. ANd even if she did measure small, chances were she was just a small baby. So he left and I gathered my things all of a sudden horrifically aware of how menial my stupid pelvic pain was. Who cares about me! UGH! Life has a way of showing you what's most important when you start whining about something that's not. Anyway, pretty much what they are looking for is a problem called IUGR - intrauterine growth restriction. It could mean so many things it makes me want to scream. It could be nothing more than a small baby or on the other hand it could be a chromosomal defect (like the ones they were looking for earlier) or a problem with the placenta. It could also be something related to my health, but I don't smoke or drink and I don't have any of the pregnancy induced health risks such as hypertension, diabetes, etc etc - so most likely its one of the other three options. Now I just wait - - again. They said they'd call me within the next 72 hours to schedule my ultrasound, so I have no idea when it's going to be. Hopefully soon. And hopefully, like last time, it's with a doctor rather than a technician so I can find out DURING the ultrasound what's going on rather than having to wait longer for someone to call me and tell me. I am so ready to have her and have all this drama over with! I know there are different things to worry about once she's here and believe me if there is something to worry about, I'll find it. But I just want her here! Not early of course, but I just want the next 8 weeks or so to go by fast. I pray that she's just small and that everything is fine!

Aches and Pains

2011-04-28T15:20:00.001-07:00

May I whine for a minute? I am having the worst pain in my bum - literally! It starts in the middle of my bum and radiates toward my right side. Its the worst when I stand up or sit down or when I straighten up after leaning over. Lately its started to hurt too when I roll over or lift something (aka Tyler) or just when I've been walking for a while. Ok lately, its been hurting almost always. Luckily I can still pretty much function, I just work through the mild constant pain and let out a good solid OUCH when a certain movement sends a stabbing pain through my bum. I think this may just be par for the course when it comes to this pregnancy. Only 8 more weeks to go (approximately).

Did I also ever mention how strong she is? Some of her jabs, kicks, and rolls are downright gasp worthy. Especially if I'm crouched over. Boy, she lets me know it then! I sit up straight or I don't sit at all apparently. Apparently she doesn't think she has enough room and is trying to stretch her home farther than it's bounds! Again, par for the course this time 'round.

All the aches and pains aside - I'm so grateful she moves a lot! And I'm grateful that these are the things I have to whine about. There are so many worse things that can happen in pregnancy. I'm so glad I can still do everything I need to as a mom and wife and homemaker. Bring on the next 8 weeks!

30 Weeks!

2011-04-18T13:25:00.001-07:00

I am officially on the countdown. Yesterday this baby turned 30 weeks - giving me 10 weeks left (give or take). Everything is going well. I had my 30 week check-up today and received my rhogam shot. My doctor said my uterus is as high as it can go and now I'll only grow out, rather than the up and out that I've been doing for the past seven months apparently. I am carrying a little differently with her (at least I think, as far as I can remember). I remember carrying Tyler a bit higher and more out. So far she feels lower and more in, but maybe that will all change in the next 10 weeks. AH! 10 weeks! In some ways that seems so short, in others - soooo very long. I need to start getting all the newborn stuff out and washing them. Time to break out the good ol' carseat, pack and play, swing, boppy, and bouncer. I'm pulling the same denial I had with Tyler. I finally bought her a couple outfits so she won't lay around naked when she arrives. Tyler has definitely helped me stay a bit more spry this pregnancy. I can still squat down with ease. Ok maybe not ease, but I can handle it ok. It is getting harder to get up and down and put on my socks. Good thing its warming up and I can wear slip ons and sandals. She is still moving a lot, but hasn't quite found a pattern that suits her. Sometimes its more in the morning, sometimes more at night. I hope she settles for the morning so that when she comes she is already used to sleeping at night. That would be awesome. And that's about all. Let the count down begin!

3 Hour Test

2011-04-01T18:34:00.000-07:00

Today I went in to take the 3 hour glucose tolerance test. I was kind of nervous. Everything I read online made it sound like the test from H- E - double hockey sticks. Aside from being long I didn't think it was too bad. I didn't even get dizzy or anything. Thank goodness!! I brought my labtop and head phones and watched movies, so even the wait wasn't too bad. I have been kind of out of it the rest of the day and a little nauseaus, but I assume its just my body working all that sugar out of my system. For the 3 hour test you drink a drink with twice as much sugar. My drink had 100 g of sugar in it! That's probably more than I generally eat in a whole day. I hope that's more than I eat in a whole day - that's A LOT!

The good news: I passed! And I passed by a lot too. I was never even close to the cut off numbers. Woohoo!! My hour mark result was even lower than yesterday's one hour test result. ANd I had twice as much sugar....hmmm.... not sure how that works, but I'm glad I don't have gestational diabetes!

I Failed :(

2011-03-31T19:59:00.000-07:00

I had my gestational diabetes screening today and failed :( I kind of had a feeling that I would, but I hoped that I was just being weird. I did everything I could to try and avoid a positive on the test. All day yesterday I only ate whole grains and proteins - no fruit, no sugar, nothing. Then for breakfast this morning all I had was eggs and cheese. I looked back at my test with Tyler and barely passed. I got a 127 and the cut off is 130. And I did have a bit of a sugar problem towards the end of my pregnancy with Tyler. Not a big one, just a "watch your sugars" kind of a thing. So I should have known. Today I got a 134 - which technically is not bad.... some doctors only care if it's over 140, but whatever. So tomorrow (or Saturday, I haven't decided which yet) I get to take the lovely 3 hour fasting glucose tolerance test. I'm not looking forward to it. Who makes a pregnant woman fast and then guzzle straight sugar? I am a bit worried as to how my body will react. The 1 hour test has never affected me in any way, so hopefully this won't either. Oh the joys of pregnancy! Hopefully everything will turn out normal this time around.

I was also diagnosed with anemia during this check up. Good news all around today :) That's not that big of deal. Just have to take some iron supplements. In fact, I'm thinking that it may make me feel even better and more energetic! That would be awesome! I have been feeling a bit rundown lately. The only not so lovely side effect is constipation. Guess I'll just have to up the fiber intake.

Aside from that the baby looks good and healthy. I'm measuring right on track at 27.5 weeks. She is moving tons and its quite powerful! Sometimes it even hurts. I do remember it sometimes hurting with Tyler, but not quite this early. I'm glad that she is such a mover though. Gives me reassurance. Aside from being a little bit more tired than usual I've been feeling pretty good. I still get nauseaus occasionally, but not too bad and usually eating helps. I wonder if that is related to the anemia as well. hmm? And that's about all. A few more days and I'm officially in my third trimester! Yay!!

Success!

2011-03-11T09:35:00.000-08:00

I slept last night!!! I guess it was just indigestion. I took ALL the advice the nurse gave me from switching to Maalox to waiting 3 hours before I laid down to eating only bland, boring food to taking small, teeny bites and chewing til it's basically nothing to propping myself up with pillows at night. Today I'm a little gaggy feeling, but I think that its part of this whole indigestion thing. I will be taking some maalox soon. I guess this is just something different about this pregnancy and I will just learn how to deal with it. I'm just SO SO SO SO thankful that I was able to sleep last night!!

Pregnancy Induced Colic - Continued

2011-03-10T10:32:00.000-08:00

Last night it lasted for 5 HOURS!!! I was awake from 12 - 5! And it still kind of hurts. Last night it ended up getting pretty bad. I was really really uncomfortable and sometimes the pain was so bad it made me cry. What the heck is wrong with me? I called my OB this morning and left a message. His nurse called me back pretty quickly and told me it was probably indigestion and to take maalox or mylanta. She also told me if it happens again tonight to call labor and delivery and see what they say. This is some intense indigestion if that's what it is. I am pretty much uncomfortable ALLLLLLLL day with an increase in discomfort at night. Does indigestion ever stop??

I feel like a total hypochondriac even writing this part, but I am a little concerned that it might be gallstones. It runs in my family.... and they all got it in their 20's. When I looked up gallstone symptoms they pretty much matched what I've been going through, but it did say also that the symptoms mimic indigestion and heartburn. My grandma says it sounds like what hers felt like at the beginning. I would just like to know BEFORE it gets really bad. I'm more of a preventing person than a repairing person. I'm sure doctors hate being asked for tests with the educated opinion of google as a source, but would it be that big of deal to just check my gall bladder just to make sure? If it happens again tonight I will ask labor and delivery and see what they say. I sure hope it just disappears!

Pregnancy Induced Colic

2011-03-10T01:00:00.001-08:00

I am writing this post at 1 o'clock in the morning. What? 1 o'clock in the morning? Yes. 1 o'clock in the morning. And this is now the third night in a row that I am up at 1 o'clock in the morning with the same problem: Pregnancy induced colic. That is my medical term for whatever it is I am currently experiencing. For three nights in a row now I have woken up at precisely midnight to use the restroom. Afterwhich, I immediately have pretty intense upper abdominal pain - much like you would have if you had a HUGE gas bubble - no make that 100 HUGE gas bubbles. Yet these gas bubbles won't pop and refuse to be burped out. So I lay there for two hours trying desperately to get comfortable. No position helps, no burping helps, no tums help. It's just sharp pain for two straight hours. Then around 2 it disappears as promptly as it arrived and I can drift off to sleep. Hense the term "colic." An unexplainable pain that arrives at exactly the same time every night, lasts for the same amount of time every night, and that has no known cure. I have pregnancy induced colic. No wonder babies that have colic are so miserable. I want to tear to midsection out!

Unfortunately, my newfound discomfort does not allude me during the day. It's not nearly as severe, but it seems as if my pregnancy went from comfortable and easy to uncomfortable and hard over night. For the past three days I've been bloated beyond imagination. My stomach constantly feels distended and every time I sit I feel like my lungs will be pushed out of my chest, through my throat, and into my mouth. Right now my uterus is only a couple inches above my belly button. I still have 15 weeks of growth left here people! How could I possible already be feeling like the baby's head is in my chest? Laying down or standing only slightly alleviates the issue. It has also worked its way into my back where I feel like I have to permanently arch my back in order to walk around. This is not a good sign for lies ahead. Being the worrier that I am, I wonder if this is a problem, feeling this way suddenly and pretty much constantly. Google has failed me. Bloating and pregnancy are perhaps the two worst words you can put in google search as pretty much EVERY pregnant woman has experienced bloating. If only I could put: "sudden extreme bloating during the day leading to intense gas pain keeping me up at night and pregnancy." Doesn't fly. Oh I hope this is a phase!!

Dear Baby,

2011-02-15T13:32:00.000-08:00

Stop scaring mommy! If you're going to allow me to feel you move, then do it consistently. Going days with little to no movement is nerve wracking - even this early. And would you please move up a little higher? I know my uterus goes at least up to my belly button now, you could hang out up there. I'd probably even feel you move better. I mean really, it's a win win situation - I'd feel you move and I wouldn't have to pee all the time. I even bet there is a bit more room for you, what with no hips, or pelvic bones, or bladders in the way. In return I'll tell your brother to lay off on using your current home as target practice for all his kicks, punches, and pushes. I'll even make sure he doesn't use your home as a trampoline. Really we are working on it. It's just that my belly is a really convenient and soft landing spot and he's really into belly buttons right now and has yet to learn how to be soft. Don't worry, we're working on that too. Hopefully by the time you arrive he'll have it down.

Love, mommy

Mark the Stubborn

2011-02-11T18:57:00.001-08:00

After much, and I mean MUCH, deliberation (aka exasperated arguing) it is decided that none of the afore mentioned middle names will suffice. It is Elizabeth or her name will be Claire. Those are my options: Claire and I can pick the middle name or Clara and Mark picks Elizabeth. Even with that, he still threatens to call her Claire as a nick name. If he does....grrrrr! I've never met someone so dang set on a name! Just watch, after all this we're going to change our minds at the last second. Well, actually I doubt that. Not with Mark the Stubborn around. The only one he even paused on before saying "NO" was Clara Rose and that was only a brief pause, and he might have been yawning or something. Who knows.

I like Clara Elizabeth, I just thought it was long. I wanted to be able to yell it when she was in trouble. Haha! Tyler John is so easy to say when Tyler's in trouble. I'm sure I'll learn to get my mouth around it. :)

MIDDLE NAME!!!

2011-02-11T09:22:00.000-08:00

AHHHH! Picking a middle name for this child is impossible. Well, picking a first name hasn't quite been a picnic either. Mark likes a total of 3 girl names: Jennifer, Elizabeth, and Claire. Thanks for the plethora of options.... I like Claire, but it's too popular right now for my taste so I suggested Clara, which I decided I like better anyway. So now our fight is Claire vs Clara. I've already decided I've won so I refer to her as Clara as much as possible to get it into Mark's head. If he says "Claire" I graciously add the "a" on for him. Don't worry, I fill out the birth certificate. Although, as Mark reminds me, HE gives the blessing. Anyway, I think we'll go with Clara...I just have a motherly instinct about that. However, not as many middle names go as well with Clara as they do with Claire. We did talk about Elaina or Elizabeth, but I've decided those are too long. Seriously, say it all together with Andreasen and you feel like you're talking for an hour. Clara Elaina Andreasen....just writing it takes forever. Clara Elizabeth Andreasen...phew! I think I have a hand cramp. I really like that I can say Tyler John and its nice and short. Clara needs a nice short middle name. So I ventured online. Good ol' Google. So here is what I found and what I think sounds good, or sorta good.

Clara Lynn (but do you think it sounds weird and rhymey with Andreasen??)

Clara Jane (or is that too close to Tyler JOHN? I mean if my kids went by their middle names they could be in a 1950's children's book).

Clara Cristine (or kristine or Christine) That's my middle name, the Cristine one.

Clara Ann or Clara Marie (both middle names are middle names of my sisters)

Clara Rose (or is that too many "r's"?)

So those are my favorite as of now. We'll see what Mark the Picky thinks.

Half way

2011-02-07T09:41:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I hit the 20 week mark. Half way! I just hope the second half goes as fast as the first half, which I think it will. Now I know for sure that I have a girl to plan for. Time for PINK! So not much to update. I feel her move on a fairly regular basis - some days more, some days less. On my more days I can feel something at least hourly. On my less days I can go hours before I feel a little pop and then hours again with nothing. I know she's still so small that she has to be in just the right position to get a good solid kick in. I love it though! I love my more days most! Its so reassuring and fun to feel her move. I still look small - no surprise there. My weight gain has been quite minimal as of yet. I'm just waiting for it to start piling on like it did with Tyler around this point. If you know I'm pregnant you can tell, but to random strangers I probably just look like I throw back a few on a regular basis. I'm not in maternity clothes yet or anything. Just wear my belly band and force my regular shirts over my belly. I have started to wear a couple maternity shirts/dresses. Maybe I'll get to posting a picture here soon. And that's about it. I'm hungry, rarely rarely gaggy anymore. I can still move easily and bend over easily. Pretty much I'm in the most comfortable stage of pregnancy and I'm enjoying it!

The Good News!

2011-02-04T09:34:00.001-08:00

After 4 days of waiting (which I know really isn't that long - it just felt long to me) I had my appointment. I saw the geneticist first. Why do they do that to pregnant women? I had pretty much been able to stay positive and brave up until I talked to her. Trisomy 18 isn't even hereditary. Its a fluke. Yes, its a genetic defect, but it has nothing to do with family history or what genes have been passed on to me or Mark. She told me what I already knew about choroid plexus cysts and their rarity and what they could mean and yada yada yada. That's what google is for - not some frightening trip to a geneticist. And yet, some how she managed to make my 1% chance of trisomy 18 seem much more common and much more likely, while reassuring me it was unlikely. How do they do that? Pretty much I left her office more afraid then when I came and proceeded to cry in the waiting room while waiting for my ultrasound. People probably thought the worst and all that had happened was a "nice talk" with a geneticist. I glared at pregnant women smiling at their ultrasound pictures. Just you wait til you get to talk with a geneticist!

However, this is when the scary stops and the reassurance and happiness comes in. Luckily I had dried my tears before they called me back, but I think the high risk dr could still sense my anxiety. The first thing he said was, "Just so you know, I think this is a mean way to stress out poor pregnant women for no reason!" AGREED! He continued to tell me that they had only seen one cyst on my baby and cysts in growing fetus's mean pretty much absolutely nothing. They have more fluid floating through their ever growing and developing bodies then they know what to do with and its almost for sure that at some point they develop a "fluid bubble" (aka cyst). It just so happens my baby's appeared during an ultrasound. So they sent me in for a level II ultrasound and scared the pants off me for basically nothing. Yes, the baby could have other problems, but most likely she was fine. I wanted to jump off the bed and hug the man. Why didn't the geneticist say that?

Anyway, he continued with the ultrasound and pointed out everything that he was looking at. He said the heart looked fine, the bowels looked fine, the feet looked fine, and, get this, he said he couldn't even see the cyst! He said it might be there, but it was small and he really wouldn't worry about it. I even saw him write the word "gone" on my medical chart. Yay!! Prayers are answered!! He was really nice and even made sure it was a girl for me since I was still unsure. Don't worry, it's a girl. No doubt about that. So, at the end he told me like any baby there was still a chance something was wrong, but from what he could see she was healthy! He even advised not to get an amnio (I wasn't going to anyway) because the risk of getting one wasn't worth it. Whereas, the geneticist told me it was super safe and only 1% of women have complications (aka miscarriages). I left feeling so much better and so so so so so so so so so grateful!

I do have to say that I felt an overwhelming since of support, love and faith coming from all my family and friends who knew about this little scare. I am so thankful for their thoughts and prayers and especially grateful for a blessing from my husband that gave me a lot of comfort and reassurance. I am thankful for prayers and miracles and blessings!

The Call

2011-01-31T12:34:00.000-08:00

I got the call you never ever want to get after an ultrasound. I have to meet with a geneticist and have a level II ultrasound on Thursday. Apparently the baby has a choroid plexus cyst or cysts on her brain. I guess most babies have these, but they only become a problem if they measure a certain size or bigger and only 1-3% of babies have that. The worst case scenario is that this could indicate trisomy 18, which is generally fatal. I think it can also be marker for regular down syndrome too. However, luckily most the time, about 99% of the time, it's nothing and the cyst(s) go away on their own and the baby is fine. For me, a chronic worrier, this is hard, even with the amazing odds. I've spent time crying and feeling her move and wondering what if.... I hate what ifs. It's almost surreal to feel her move and think that there could be something wrong with her. Something that could take her away from me. But NO! I refuse to think like that! I can't! More likely than not she is perfectly fine! I just have to be positive! I can't ruminate in what ifs. I am going to ask Mark for a blessing and luckily I only have to wait til Thursday for the ultrasound. Hopefully they'll be able to tell me right there and then what's going on. I will lean on my family and my Heavenly Father for support and strength. I know they will give it to me! I will update more on Thursday when I find out more.

It's A . . . .

2011-01-25T12:30:00.000-08:00

GIRL!

Well most likely.

From the get go the technician was having problems getting this kid to stay still long enough to get the pictures she needed for the radiologist. I was in there probably twice as long as I was with Tyler. She told me that every time she tried to take a picture of the head, she shook it. And every time she tried to get a picture of the abdomen she would roll over. Yes, she's a stubborn one. Anyway, after a while she let me go get Mark and my mom. That's when we started the hide and seek game. The baby was rolled up into a ball, with her legs crossed. Could you get more modest? And yet somehow, in that fetal position, she was still able to move away from the ultrasound wand anytime we got close to a decent shot. The technician finally got a few glimpses and said, if she were to guess she would guess girl. I would too from what I saw, which was legs, bum and nothing. Tyler was so much easier! He had those legs spread wide for all to see. The technician was super nice too and went to get another technician to get a second opinion, because I wanted a sure answer. The second technician had a hard time too, but said she got a split second of a good shot and would say girl too. So, most likely, it is a girl.

We also didn't get any good pictures, thanks to her evasion skills. The technician said she couldn't even get a profile shot :( She was front facing or back facing, whatever her preference was at the moment, but she wouldn't turn on her side. The technician even had me turn on my side to try and get her to roll over or move or uncross or SOMETHING! But, no. So unfortunately, I don't have a picture to put on here. But, I was able to see all the limbs, fingers, toes, face, heart, organs, everything! She looks wonderful!

To be honest, it has taken me a while to get used to thinking this is a girl - a real live girl. I was more in shock or disbelief afterward then anything. I was so sure it was a boy that I practically had our life with two boys planned out, so now I have to retrain my mind! Haha! I felt bad that I wasn't bursting with excitement all the way home. But when we got home my mom pulled out a little girl sleeper she had hidden in her suitcase and I almost died from cuteness! The excitement is growing!

As far as names are concerned, we like Clara for a first name. Elizabeth or Elaina for a middle name. So we'll let that sit and see what happens.

Yay for baby girls!!

Finally!

2011-01-07T12:25:00.001-08:00

I made it! I finally had my appointment! And I almost didn't. Yesterday I had a mild yet annoying version of Tyler's stomach flu, so naturally I hardly ate anything all day. The lack of food made me ridiculously light headed and dizzy this morning. So much so that I had to get out of the shower with soapy hair and sit on the floor, head between my knees, dripping wet while Mark got me a banana. Luckily the dizziness abated somewhat and I was able to make the drive. I had a midwife, as my doctor was out of town, but she was very nice. We listened to the heart beat and she said it sounded great! And when I told her I was a little worried about the baby's size since I still look exactly the same and haven't gained an ounce she went and got an ultrasound machine, even though she wasn't planning on it! She did it quickly just to measure so I don't have a picture, but I saw the profile and it was moving! She said it measured just fine and that everything looked great! I measured at 15 weeks 5 days, but she said it was a bit curved so it could be even bigger. Yay!! Next appointment: January 25th the big ultrasound! I can't wait to find out more about out little baby!

Appointment Fail

2011-01-03T09:55:00.000-08:00

The weather is conspiring against me! It's snowing! Yes, here in Apple Valley, it is snowing and even sticking! I had to reschedule my already rescheduled appointment that I was supposed to have today. Next try - this Friday. Keep your fingers crossed.

14 weeks 5 days

2010-12-30T09:22:00.001-08:00

Due to weather/traveling problems I didn't end up having my appointment last week. Bummer. So no ultrasound. I have another appointment scheduled for the third, but I'm not sure if I'll be getting an ultrasound or not since my 18 week ultrasound is only a few weeks after that. Oh well. I'm sure everything is fine. I'm 14 1/2 weeks. Yay! Finally into my second trimester! I also think that maybe I am starting to show a wee bit. My sister said I had a pokemon belly. I'm hardly sick at all, pretty much never and I am also pretty hungry. I spent the past week in Utah with my wonderful family for Christmas and ate tons! I came home sure that I had put on some pounds, but no. What?? It must be hiding somewhere. The baby is eating it all. That is about it. I am feeling good and enjoying the easiest, most comfortable time of pregnancy. :)

12 weeks

2010-12-11T09:01:00.001-08:00

Apparently your first trimester isn't over until you are 13 or 14 weeks. Hmm, who knew? So I still have a week or two to go. That's fine, I wasn't planning on telling anyone yet anyway. I'm waiting for that ultrasound! I'm feeling pretty good. Morning sickness is almost gone. Some days I still get it, but its so minor I can almost ignore it or eat over it. Food aversions are also on their way out too! YAY!! So far this pregnancy has been lots easier in the morning sickness dept. Although, I've had different symptoms with this one that I never had or didn't have til the end with Tyler. Like heartburn/indigestion. I'm already eating tums. I also have a DISGUSTING taste in my mouth pretty much 24/7 and no amount of tooth brushing, Listerine rinsing, gum chewing, or mint sucking helps it. My other oh so lovely symptom is bloating. Every evening I probably add several inches to my waistline that is not baby, as it is mysteriously gone when I wake up the next day. Makes me feel cool to be "showing" already, although its a come and go belly, but hey. And last but not least, round ligament stretchy pain. I find it odd that the stretchy pain gets worse with subsequent pregnancies. You'd think, or at least I think, that since I'm already stretched out thanks to Tyler it would hurt less.... right? Apparently, according to my best friend, Google, I'm wrong. You get worse round ligament pains with each pregnancy. All in all I'm feeling pretty good. I would take these symptoms over morning sickness any day! Aside from the evening time bloat, I'm still not showing at all. I can still button my pants and everything. All the little baby websites say for sure I'm noticing some thickening in my waist. Well, actually no I'm not, but I maintain that I did all my thickening and widening with Tyler so I don't have to go through that again (as it never unthickened or unwidened). So now I'm just waiting for the baby to pop out. Makes sense right? Well, I'm getting very anxious for my ultrasound in a week and a half! By then I should be able to make out a real looking baby. Hopefully my doctor gives me a little longer than 30 seconds to see things this time :) I'll just ask him. He's a nice guy I'm sure he'll go for it. So I'll update more then!

10 weeks

2010-11-27T15:18:00.000-08:00

I'm 10 weeks today and I remember last time that felt like a HUGE milestone. The double digits! This time around it just feels like another week, obviously a good week, because I'm grateful I'm still pregnant and everything is going well, but another week nonetheless. I have to say this pregnancy has been easier than Tyler's. I know I wasn't saying that a few weeks ago, but I am pretty much done feeling sick, as long as I eat! Yay! And I have felt pretty good for the past few weeks. I am sooooo grateful for that! Night times are still the worst time of day, but it's not too bad. I decided life would be good if we had dinner in the morning and breakfast at night ;) Although, I still can't eat anything I cook - it's got to be something about being around or smelling the food for so long before it's actually ready to eat. I'm still exactly the same size and weight I was before so I won't be showing any faster this time around either. All in all things are good.

Ultrasound #1

2010-11-18T13:13:00.000-08:00

Happy Birthday to Tyler! Lucky boy got to go to the doctors with mommy on his birthday. But he did get to see his little baby bro or sis. There it is. Baby #2 in all its bloblike glory! (It's on the right in the black hole). It was a rather fast ultrasound. Probably lasted a total of 2 minutes. The doctor said, "See baby? See heartbeat? Alright, we measure and done." I was still trying to see the heart, but I think I found the flicker.

He measured the baby at 8 weeks 3 days, which would put me 2 days later than the estimated due date. But, he said he was going quickly so his measurement could be off a little and to keep the due date where it's at for now. Thank goodness, I don't want to add more time - even if it is just 2 days. The best news of all, well aside from having a healthy baby, is that I do get another ultrasound! He said he would do another one in 5-6 weeks to check growth. YAY!!! By then, hopefully the picture will look more like a baby and less like a blob. So I get an ultrasound again on Dec. 22 at about 13-14 weeks. And then the 18 week one on Jan. 25! Yay for ultrasounds! Yay for healthy babies!

Doctor Appointment

2010-11-08T13:48:00.000-08:00

I called the doctor today to make my appointment. They scheduled two. One this Thursday, the 11th, for the blood and paper work and then one next Thursday, the 18th, (Tyler's birthday) to meet the doctor. And guess what? I get an ultrasound that day!!! Yay!! Kaiser gives you one ultrasound between 8-12 weeks and then one around 18 weeks. So this is my one and only for awhile. I will be 8.5 weeks by then. I guess we'll see how accurate the due date is. I kind of wish they gave you another one at 12 or 13 weeks or something - just to get you out in the clear after the first trimester is over, but at least I get one soon!! Yay yay yay!

7 Weeks

2010-11-06T08:02:00.001-07:00

You know you're pregnant when The Incredibles makes you cry. It's just such a heart warming family story you know? That's not as bad as The Office making me cry - not just cry, but sob. I don't even remember what it was that set me off, but whatever it was - yikes. The worst so far, Barney. Yep, I cried at Barney. Seriously, what is wrong with me? I don't remember being this emotional with Tyler, maybe a little here and there, but not like now. Its not that I'm sad. It just comes out of no where for no apparent reason. Just BAM tears.

In other news, I do feel sick. Not literally puke sick thank heavens, just yucky sick. I know it could be so so so much worse and I try very hard not to complain in front of my friends who do puke constantly while they're pregnant. Brave, selfless women that they are. I can still eat - some things, and do much better when someone else cooks - just like last time. I generally wake up feeling pretty normal as long as I eat, by 12-1 I feel a little yucky, then usually by 3 I'm sick for the rest of the night til I fall asleep. I'm just glad I get a break in there. Its heaven to wake up feeling decent.

In all honesty, aside from the emotional trauma that I put myself through daily, this pregnancy is pretty much the same as Tyler's so far. If I were a superstitious woman, I would say that this is a another boy, since they are so much alike. But, I'm not. If anything, I bet its a girl just because I think its a boy. Just like Tyler was a boy after I was SURE he was a girl.

I haven't called the doctor yet and got scolded by a friend for putting it off. I've heard that Kaiser doesn't give you an ultrasound til 12 weeks, so I guess I feel like its pretty much pointless to go in super early when all they'll say is, "well see you in 6 weeks - hope everything is fine. Guess we'll find out later." But, I've decided to call on Monday and set up my appt anyway. Maybe I'll be pleasantly surprised and they'll give me one earlier. Fingers crossed! I could always ask. The worst they could say is no.

And that's that. My 7 week update!

5 Weeks

2010-10-23T08:20:00.000-07:00

I'm 5 weeks today and that is pretty much all I have to report. I still feel relatively unpregnant. My only obvious symptom being burping. I'm quite the burper nowadays. For a couple days there I would have some mild nausea or that really hungry feeling. Sometimes it would be so fleeting I almost wondered if it was my mind playing tricks on me. I haven't had those feelings for a couple days though. I'm trying not to read too much into that. Pretty much I feel the same as always.

I haven't called the doctor yet. I think I will wait until I'm at least 6 weeks or more. With Tyler they allowed me an extra ultrasound and blood test to assure me that everything was fine. I kind of doubt they will be so obliging this time after having a perfectly normal and healthy previous pregnancy. So going this early is pretty much pointless. I wonder what the schedule is normally. When do they do the first ultrasound? Guess I'll find out.

So there you have it. My update at 5 weeks. Not too exciting, but I'm still excited for this new life!

Surprise!

2010-10-18T08:28:00.000-07:00

I'm pregnant! It is a surprise pregnancy, but we're still excited and happy! The tentative due date, according to the Baby Center's due date calculator, is June 25th or 26th. Yay! A June baby! I always thought June would be a good time to have a baby. I'm only a little over 4 weeks so I'm hardly feeling pregnant - and that is fine with me. We'll see what the next few weeks bring. Tyler will be 19 months old when this baby is born. Not bad. I was aiming for about 2 years apart, that's close enough.

I am so excited for this baby! Now that I know all the fun, and not so fun, parts of pregnancy I am excited to see what this one brings. I'm excited for all the little milestones and excited to be able to share it with Tyler. I wonder what he will think when I'm big and fat! I told him this morning that he was going to be a big brother. He was way more interested in his breakfast. haha! I can't believe I'm going to have 2 kids!

Well, off we go on our new adventure! Hopefully this time I'll be better about updating.

Oops!

2009-12-13T09:53:00.000-08:00

So, I had the baby about 4 weeks ago.... This blog is officially closed and updates on Tyler will be made on the regular Andreasen Family Blog. Thanks to all those who actually checked this blog and read my occasional (VERY occasional) updates.

To just kind of finish out the pregnancy . . . .

The last 6 weeks of pregnant life went so quickly. School kept me busy and third trimester misery hardly got me down until about a week before I had Tyler. In fact those last 6 weeks are kind of a blur. I know I was ready to have him, but still scared of the delivery. I know each doctor I saw told me he was small and would likely be past due (shows how much doctors know). I know each day of school grew more and more trying the closer I got to delivery, but some days I thought I would really miss my students (lets me honest, I haven't even thought of them since I had him). I know teachers started putting bets on how soon I would go and each day I came to school one or two would have to drop out of the race. I know that I thought I had all the time in the world so my poor sub had nothing, my room was in chaos, and Tyler was lucky to have diapers and a carseat. I know that I had absolutely no idea how much you could love!!

I will be posting the labor and delivery story on my other blog...eventually :)

Update - lots of writing, no pictures

2009-11-02T17:59:00.000-08:00

I have people on a fairly regular basis remind me to keep a journal during this first pregnancy and every time I have this guilty feeling, because what started out as a great journaling blog turned into a failure. I apologize to myself, my baby, and all those who actually read this blog. Can I make one excuse? Kindergarten is sucking my life away!! Who has time to journal and blog when they spend every moment of their life enslaved to 27 five year olds? (Whom I do quite enjoy most the time so I guess I can't really call it enslavement, but you catch my drift). Anyway, here we go, my attempt at an update.

I am 38 weeks and one day today. As of my last doctor's appt (which was 5 days ago) I am 50% effaced, not dilated, the baby is still -3 centimeters from the birth canal (which apparently means the baby has yet to drop), the head is down, although his back is on my left side with his feet and hands poking into my right side, and I am measuring at 35 -36 centimeters. The heartbeat sounds strong and regular and all looks well. I've been having braxton hicks contractions fairly often that are completely painless and the only reason I notice is if I put my hand on my stomach. I still hardly waddle and for the most part feel really good for a 38 week pregnant woman. Tums have become part of my nightly routine and occasionally sneak into my day time one as well. I wake up often during the night for bathroom trips as this baby's favorite spot is my bladder, or to turn over. If he's not on my bladder, he likes to ball up as high as he can under my ribs so that I wake up to some uncomfortable back and side pain. But really, I feel good. I go to school every day and I can walk, I'm not too tired, I have a decent amount of energy - I'm happy. The misery of third trimesterdom has really not hit me that bad. I keep expecting it to get worse as they say its the misery that makes the labor and delivery almost a relief. Right now, I would say that I could hold off on the pushing and contracting for a while longer yet. Speaking of labor and delivery - I am scared out of my mind!! It still seems so unreal to me that I will actually have to get this baby out. The nesting instinct has yet to hit, I still haven't packed my hospital bag, the nursery is not done, the bassinet is still in a box, as is the stroller and carseat, all the shower gifts are still in their bags with tags on, surprisingly we do have diapers and wipes, but that is pretty much it. I'm in denial. I try to picture and imagine it, but all I see is a woman in the hospital bed with no face. I just can't get my face on there. I think at the onset of labor I will be in complete denial (well that or complete panic mode). I've watched live birth videos and they make me slightly sick. That's going to be me??? I can't even fathom. My only comfort is that millions of women do it, my friends have all done it, my mom, grandmas, aunts, cousins, and such have all done it. They all survived. I will too . . . . right? Am I afraid of the pain? Yes. Am I afraid of complications? Eh somewhat. Am I afraid of the unknown? I guess that's it exactly. This the unknown. I've never done this. I have no idea what it will be like, feel like, how long it will take, what to expect, nothing. I guess we just wait and see. Not too much longer.

In other news, we have FINALLY settled on a full name. Drum roll please. Our baby will forever be known as Tyler John Andreasen. YAY!! A name!! And now that I have actually written it all out for the first time, I like it even more. Looks good, looks professional, looks solid and steadfast. As some of you know, Mark had picked out Ty, or Tyler, a while ago and as it grew on me I decided it was a good fit and thus we had a first name. The middle name proved to be much more difficult than the first. We had decided that we wanted a J name for reasons I can't remember. I think just because a J name sounded good with Tyler. I don't know. We had thrown around James and Jordan. Mark just wanted flat out J or Jay which I would not even consider. Anyway, in kindergarten last quarter, we did a name project and as part of that project we sent home papers for the parents to fill out about how their child got their name, who named them, if they were named after anyone, any special meanings or reasons, etc. And as I read those papers as they came back I realized that my son had nothing special in his name, aside from the fact that it was his name and his daddy picked it out. Tyler means tile layer - woopee. Nothing really special there. He wasn't named after anyone. It was just a name we liked. So I sent myself on a mission to get my son a name to be proud of! I played around with Tyler Mark or Tyler David after Mark, but for some reason Mark really didn't want that. I threw around names that had meaning like Wyatt or James, but still nothing. Nothing felt right. Then finally I was talking to someone (I forget who) and they mentioned my dad's name - Thomas. Tyler Thomas...uh no. Just say it out loud once and you'll agree. It just doesn't work. But then I thought, what about my dad's middle name - John. Hey! Its a J name, it has a great meaning, and it comes from a great man!! (Apparently it has some ancestral significance too that I have yet to learn). John means God is gracious and it was the name of John the beloved and John the baptist - two of the most loved and respected of Christ's apostles/disciples. But even better to me is that he will have part of my dad's name - one of the best men on earth and a great example to follow! It just hit me how right that name was. It fit perfectly! Mark was good with it and thus a full name was born. I can't wait to try it out on little Tyler John when he is born!

34 Weeks

2009-10-08T15:35:00.001-07:00

So, I've done a terrible job updating this blog and posting pictures of my tummy. So here you go, here is the most recent picture. Pretty big, I think. Although, I get told almost daily by someone new how small I am. "You're due in November? Impossible!" Quite possible, I assure you. And my personal favorite, "You can't even tell you're pregnant from the back." Well then, obviously you don't remember what I used to look like from the back. People, my back, hips, and ever stretching skin can tell you that I am indeed having this baby soon.

I have 6 more weeks left, give or take. Hopefully give, being that my mom didn't schedule her flight down here until the day after my due date. I think I need my mommy this time, Mark is as clueless as I am, if not more. We are slowly but surely getting the nursery ready (pictures coming soon). It makes me so excited!! I just go in there right now and sit for a while. Yes, I am going to be one of those weird parents that just watch my baby sleep. I washed all the baby clothes and blankets that I have already in Dreft so its extra soft for my little boy. Its so weird and fun to think that soon a little baby will be in those clothes and sleeping in that crib and be mine forever and ever!

As far as pregnancy woes are concerned, I think I have been spared the horrendous ones. All in all I am still feeling pretty good and can mostly walk normal. I do have back and hip pain a lot of the time, mostly at night when I am trying to sleep. I guess Heavenly Father planned it pretty well when he planned pregnancy. I wake up every hour or two to turn over (which is a quite the process now a days) or go to the bathroom - which will hopefully prepare me somewhat for those night time feedings. I don't really get heartburn, but I get some big time acid reflux and indigestion. For a while there I thought maybe my morning sickness was coming back, but I learned it was just indigestion. The acid reflux is just not fun, but luckily tums seem to help these lovely side effects of pregnancy well enough. I do miss being able to pick myself up off the floor, get up off the couch or out of bed, and bend over. Mark thinks its hilarious to watch me roll off the bed until my feet can reach the floor and I can pull myself up. And when I drop something, I groan in displeasure that I have to somehow pick it up. Luckily at school I have 28 five year olds who are more than happy to rush to my aid. Mark isn't quite as eager. . . hahaha :) I also miss breathing. I find myself out of breath and dizzy for no reason. However, all not so fun symptoms aside, I love being pregnant and feeling him move and knowing that soon he will be here with me. Sometimes I feel like we play games. I push down on a part of my stomach and he kicks or moves something across that spot. Then I change spots and he follows me. I do this for a while and I just love it! I am so excited (well not for labor and what not) but to have him in my arms! I can't wait!!!

Baby Shower

2009-09-27T13:13:00.000-07:00

One of the kindergarten teachers threw a baby shower for me and another teacher who is a month ahead of me. It was so fun! Here we are in the teacher's classroom. I'm the one with the blue bags (the other teacher is having a girl - obviously).

Awww! I love baby stuff!

I know I look ravishing in this picture, but I mostly wanted you to see my girth and I'm even bigger now and its only been a week!

More cute baby boy stuff! I can't believe soon I will have a baby that will fit into that!

It was a great shower and I got a lot of great things from the awesome teachers at Riverside Prep! Thank you all!

A Scare

2009-08-22T17:10:00.000-07:00

It's been a while. School started about a month ago and with it went all my free time. No seriously, ALL my free time. So anyway, I am 27 weeks and feeling great. He was kicking like crazy, no swelling, no heartburn, everything was good. A couple days ago his movement slowed way down, but that had happened before and within a day he was back to his normal self - so I forced myself to continue on with life and not worry about it. However, the lack of movement continued yesterday and still today. To further my worry I started having what I think were braxton hicks contractions and all the movements I did feel were lower than they had ever been. Finally, we get to today and he would not move at all. I ate and laid on my left side to see if that would get something out of him, but no. I pushed and prodded and poked - nothing. Finally we had to leave for the beach for a young men/young women beach trip and I told myself to just go and eventually he would move - wrong again. I drank coke (and I hate coke) and laid down on a blanket - still nothing. I ate more - again nothing. So it had been three days of decreased movement and about half a day with none. I was really starting to get worried. I finally gave in and called Kaiser to see what I should do. The labor and delivery nurse told me to go to the nearest Kaiser and get monitored which of course scared me even more. I thought she might tell me to go eat or drink juice and lay down or something. So I pretty much broke down right there on the beach and bawled like a baby while Mark and other wonderful friends got a GPS, some food, and a car for us. I was also fortunate enough to be surrounded by men who could give me a blessing. The nearest Kaiser happened to be the Bellflower medical center - a rather ghetto looking hospital. It was about 30 minutes away and the whole ride over still no movement. Anyway, ghetto or not, the labor and delivery people were great. They got me right in, put on a fetal monitor and wouldn't you know it the kid starts moving like CRAZY!! I felt like an idiot. They kept saying things like, "Well, he's sure active now." I promise this is the first time I've felt him all day! I swear! They did reassure me that I had done the right thing by coming in, but I still felt a bit embarrassed. Anyway, embarrassed or not, I am glad I went in because it reassured me of many things - the baby was alive and moving, I had plenty of amniotic fluid, I was not having contractions, and I was not dilating (even though the doctor thought I might be because he was sitting extremely low - so I was right about that). I think the blessing definitely helped. I may never know to what extent, but I am sure it did. So, the scare was averted and all is well. The doctor said I have a very healthy pregnancy and all is as good as it possibly could be! I am so grateful!

So when I got home I googled the hospital trying to find pictures that would show its true ghettoness and lo and behold I find that Octomom had her babies there! So ghetto or not - that hospital has quite the history!

Half way!

2009-07-06T13:25:00.000-07:00

I am officially past the halfway mark!! I hit 20 weeks last Friday YAY!! I am totally over feeling sick and even most food aversions - FINALLY. I think I am finally starting to eat like a pregnant woman. I have gained 10 lbs in the last 3 weeks - my doctor would be proud - and I don't seem to be slowing down any. I also think I have finally joined the obviously pregnant club. In the past couple days I have popped out a bit more than even my most recent belly bump shots. Yes, ok, so I am still small comparatively, but for me it's big. I have even had my fair share of unwelcome belly rubs. I don't know - I never felt the need to touch another's belly, but to each their own I guess. I have also started have back pain - not fun. My new favorite pregnancy symptom is acid reflux - YUCK!! If I lay down even 2 hours after I eat ANYTHING its up in my throat again within minutes and if I burp its one of those way way nasty throw up burps and sometimes I really think I just will puke. Gross huh? At least I don't have heartburn - I hear that hurts. Baby movements come and go based on his position, I'm assuming. Sometimes it feels like he is "hu-pa-choo"-ing (my brother's word for karate moves when he was a wee tike) in my body. Other times I hardly feel him at all and I start to do the crazy paranoid thing and worry.

Recently, Mark and I went to Babys'R'us and Target to check out baby stuff. We pushed strollers and carried carseats- well more like hit, flipped over, ran into things, yanked around and threw strollers and carseats- to make sure they were sturdy. I'm sure the employees of both Babys'R'us and Target loved us. But hey I want to know that no matter what I put that stroller and carseat through - my baby will be safe and comfortable. We also looked at play yards and swings and if I could I would have placed 50 lb weights in both and knocked those around a bit too, but I had to be satisfied with yanking, pushing, pulling and putting as much weight in them as possible with my arms. However, I can say that I feel good about our selections - for the time being at least. I did find the best, most comfortable glider ever invented and well worth every penny of the $400 it costs. I am going to give Mark a heart attack. But I say, if I have to be in that sucker at 3 am I want to be comfortable - got that! I am still up in the air about cribs and nursery furniture. The ones I want are all out of stock - boo! Plus, Mark just doesn't understand that they all have to match. If it were up to him our crib would be oak, our dresser would be cherry, and the changer would be espresso or something. How can I explain to a man that the wood has to match? He almost died when he saw how much a bedding set cost - I mean we paid FAR less for ours and it is twice if not three times as much material. Dang stores know parents are suckers. If I were any more domestic I would just make the thing.

As far as names go, I am pretty sure we have narrowed it down to Tyler, Aidan, or Mason. And more specifically Tyler and Aidan. Personally, I think it will end up being Tyler, or Ty. Mark is really set on having a name that can be shortened into a nickname and Tyler is really the only name that does that out of the names we picked. It means tile layer...woo that's exciting. I know name meanings don't mean much but how anticlimatic to be like 13 and look up your name meaning and find out it means tile layer. Lame. Mason means brick layer - so that's really not any better and Aidan means little fire, a little bit better, but not much. We'll just have to give him a middle name that means something AWESOME! I was thinking Wyatt - it means little warrior. Tyler Wyatt Andreasen...what do you think? Mark's cousin named her little boy Wyatt and he is adorable! We'll see. Just watch - we'll have 10 different names picked out over the next 5 months and then the baby will be born and we will pick out a completely different name. When I was looking at girl names, way back when, I found one that meant husband slayer....can you imagine???

Anyway, those are my updates for my 2o week mark. This is starting to feel really real and close! YAY!!

Movement!

2009-06-26T13:45:00.000-07:00

Mark felt the baby move today!! It was so fun and exciting!! I've been feeling it move for a few weeks now, but mark finally felt it!! We were just sitting on the couch and it felt like I could feel the movements stronger than usual so I put my hand over it to see if I could feel it and I could so I grabbed Mark's hand real quick to see if he could too and he did! It was so fun I almost cried and laughed at the same time! To quote Mark, "Is he trying to kick out of there?" Haha!! This is one of the best moments of my pregnancy so far!!

Belly Bump

2009-06-25T17:57:00.001-07:00

Finally, the belly bump pictures are here! This is me at about 18 1/2 weeks. Strange thing is...I swear I look bigger when I look in the mirror, even my mom said so. I thought the camera was supposed to add 10 lbs not take it away. Hmmm. Anyway, yes I am still small and all, but pants are getting too snug now and its about time to break down and buy maternity clothes. Luckily for me, I have a very talented mother who made me three maternity skirts while she was here and bought me some maternity tops for a birthday present! I have decided I love maternity clothes and I may never go back. Flowy, stretchy, light fabric - it's the best!

Looking at the belly shot... so sweet.

There's a baby in there! A baby boy to be exact!

My awesome new skirts made by my mommy!

It's A . . .

2009-06-23T08:40:00.000-07:00

BOY!!!!

We didn't get an actual picture of the boy parts, though I swear she printed one off...eh well. Less to embarrass him with when he gets older I guess. It was so fun! (well aside from having to drink 32 oz of water and hold it for an hour). Luckily they called me in right when my appointment was supposed to start, so I didn't have to wait any longer - YES!! So I laid there while she took all the exam pictures for the doctor and then I finally got to go to the bathroom, but only for 20 seconds, and though I thought there was no possible way I could pee for longer than 2o seconds... I guess with 32 oz of water in your bladder you can pee for way longer. So 20 seconds was really just a tip off the ice berg. (I know, you're really glad you know that now) and I was able to go get Mark and my mom (who is here to visit). Up to this point she hadn't showed me anything so I was really excited. So we all came back to the exam room and there it was..the baby!! As with all past appointments and doctors, the lady commented on this baby's activeness. I should have known it was a boy - so active and all. It was so fun to see him move and to actually see a real looking baby. We saw his face, his profile, his legs, arms, feet, hands, spine, heart (and heard it) everything! And then she asked us if we wanted to know the gender...OF COURSE!! So she moved and said, "Do you see?" and my mom and I instantaneously said..."BOY!" It was really obvious! She even pointed out all the little boy parts (I won't bother naming those...I'm sure you can figure it out). It was definitely not a stray finger looking mysteriously like a boy part...it WAS a boy part. My little boy! My son! Our Son! CRAZY WE HAVE A SON!! So here are some picture for your enjoyment.

Profile shots. You can see his leg in the picture above and Mark says he's smiling - which I think is so cute for Mark to notice and to think something like that. I think he is too. In the picture below up by his nose you can see a white blob, that's his hand.

This is a picture of the face... it is a bit blurry and still a bit alien looking. The face is on the left. You can see the eye sockets, a little nose and a circular open mouth. He even has his little hand up under his chin...if you can see that.

It was so fun and I am so happy and grateful that everything looked good, strong, and healthy. I am also feeling a lot better and hungrier! YAY!! They measured me at 18 weeks 5 days which is actually two days further along than originally thought. And my doctor thought I was small... that'll show her. They didn't change my due date since it was really close, but still. Speaking of my doctor, I changed to an actual OB. I think I mentioned before that the doctor I had was a family doctor and a resident at that which did make me a bit nervous, I admit. And after the ultrasound they had me go speak to a nurse about a second trimester screening, which I declined, but anyway she was quite surprised that I had a resident family practitioner and suggested I switch, so I did. End of story. All in all it was a great appointment. Everything went so smoothly and wonderfully! What a great day!! Now about names . . . .

Ugh!

2009-06-15T11:36:00.000-07:00

Ok.... I want to know why my morning sickness decided to return! For a couple weeks there I was feeling great! I even gained 4 pounds! My doctor would have been so proud. But this past week I am feeling sick again every night and if I don't eat. What is up with that? So, it's not as bad as the first trimester, but still! I want to be pigging out. The food aversions are even kind of back. My What To Expect While You're Expecting book says that I should be getting hungrier.... not less hungry. However, I do have this weird thing that I can eat a lot of what I don't make. Weird? If I make dinner I can hardly force down a moderate sized helping, but if Mark makes it or someone else I'm all about it. I really don't get it. Eh well, at least it is better than the first trimester and maybe it will be short lived.

In other news, a week from today we find out what we're having!!!!! YAY!!!!!

Update

2009-06-01T16:24:00.000-07:00

I still haven't taken any new pictures. I have tried to take a picture of myself in the mirror, but it really hasn't worked, so I'll have to get Mark to take one someday here pretty soon. Anyway, I will give a little update:

I am 15 weeks 3 days. Yay! I hardly ever feel sick anymore which is nice and I have hardly any food aversions. However, I don't necessarily ever really feel hungry. I am still waiting for the massive appetite to kick in. I had my first craving: Mongolian BBQ. I wanted it so bad but unfortunately the closest restaurant to our house was in San Diego! I was about ready to hop in the car and make the drive down. Why did my first craving have to be something I couldn't have? How ironic. I am getting more round ligament pains or growing pains now. Sometimes they really hurt! People keep asking me if I have felt the baby move yet and in reply I say, "I don't think so." I feel all sorts of gurgles, pops, rumbles, flutters, and stretches. But I still think I'm too early on and the baby is too small. Who knows, maybe one of these days I will realize that all along some of those feelings was actually the baby. I look generally unpregnant, although I have been unable to button my pants for a few weeks now. I even went and bought a B band, or belly band. They're wonderful inventions - seriously! Just a piece of stretchy material placed over the waistline of your unbuttoned, unzipped pants, but wonderful nonetheless. Friends have commented on my little pooch, but unless I'm wearing a tight shirt you would never know...and even then a stranger would never pick me out of a crowd as a pregnant lady. I think I am growing wider before I grow out. My hips are already expanding and my waist is nonexistent - so there ya have it. I'll let the picture I'll post soon do most the talking.

Today I had my 16 week appointment, a bit early, but close enough. This was the magic appointment where I would get to hear the heartbeat! However, Saturday night found me with a sore throat and by last night I was near death. Stupid cold/flu. I always wonder...how does your body create so much mucus? And what nasty cells make muscles cramp and ache?? I want to breathe again! I spent most my time last night blowing my nose or writhing in pain. This morning I tried to call and reschedule but they had nothing. So with 3 hours of sleep under my belt I took the advice of my mom to start practicing being a mom and suck it up. I drove the hour long trip down to my doctor. Fortunately, a hot shower and getting off my rear end took away a lot of the aches and pains and just left me with a minor headache (probably from lack of sleep) and a ridiculously stuffed nose. Once at the appointment, my baby continued to be an acrobat. The doctor could only grab little faint heartbeats for split seconds before the little booger moved and we lost it. All I can say is this baby better cooperate on June 22 when we go in to find the gender. So far he/she has been quite the evader. At first I just thought she couldn't find it and I started to freak out a bit. Especially after she said, "Hmmm I might have to do an ultrasound again if I can't get anything." Ultrasounds are great...but I wanted to hear the lub dub! Finally after 5 minutes (ok it was probably only 1 minute) she finally got a nice strong heartbeat! This time I did almost cry! I can't believe that that is inside me - living and growing! She measured me too and said I measured in the norm, but I kind of caught on that I was on the small end of norm. She told me my measurements were "ok" and that I would probably be getting a new due date come the 22nd. Great - add more time. Just keep your fingers crossed, maybe the baby will go through a growth spurt between now and then. She also got on me for not gaining any weight yet, but said as long as I start gaining more by 20 weeks I'm ok. I really don't understand how I could have a pooch, plus lose my waist and still have gained nothing. Eh well. I guess my goal is to pig out. Now if only my appetite would cooperate.

All in all, I feel pretty good (minus this ridiculous cold I currently have) and I am getting more and more excited! Almost at the half way mark!

Officially

2009-05-08T15:47:00.001-07:00

Ok.... so really, I'm officially 12 weeks today - not yesterday. I was just a little eager beaver to make the post.

12 weeks

2009-05-07T17:30:00.000-07:00

(This is long, so if you want to skip it and just get to the picture, scroll down to the end).

According to some, my first trimester is officially over!!! YAY!!! Then again, according to others it's not officially over until 13 weeks....so whatever I say it's over! This is such a huge milestone for me! I feel so grateful and blessed to have made it this far! 1/3 of the way done 2/3 to go. I can do it! In updates, I feel the same: still feel sick in the evening and at night, but feel good in the morning. I'm eating a bit more, but still have food aversions. I am showing more, well to me I am. I think it's pretty obvious, but how many times have I heard my friends say that only to have me look them skeptically up and down and claim that they look exactly the same. Now I know their pain. I'll take pictures soon to prove it. Anyway, the exciting thing is that I had a doctors appointment today. First, we must travel back several weeks to understand my excitement behind this appointment . . . . .

If you can recall, at my very first appointment, I was led to assume that I would be having an ultrasound at 5 1/2, 6 1/2, and 8 weeks. Anyway, I had the 5 1/2 week ultrasound, which is when I saw the blackhole and white dot baby. Then the day before my 6 1/2 week appointment I spotted a teeny tiny bit, enough to freak me out. So I assumed for sure I would have an ultrasound the following day at my appointment. However, when I came in, the doctor did a regular pelvic exam and said I wasn't bleeding anymore and that I was fine. Then she informed me she wouldn't be doing the ultrasound after all, as I had just had one the week previous. I know the baby probably hadn't changed much or at least as far as an ultrasound would pick up, but my worried little heart wanted assurance! I wasn't about to get any, because the doctor continued by canceling my 8 week appointment and "assuring" me that I would have an ultrasound at 20 weeks! WHAT???? 20 weeks???? What had happened to all my ultrasounds? I begged her to make another appointment earlier than that just to ease my troubled mind. She relented and sent up an appointment for 12 weeks. So for 6 weeks I lived with May 7th in mind. I looked at youtube and google images of ultrasound pictures and videos at 12 weeks. You could see everything! It was so clear! I read pregnancy articles about hearing the heart beat at 12 weeks. In my head I formed this vision of what this appointment would be like. The lub dub of the little heartbeat, followed by a small glimpse into baby's life and movement - so clear that I could see the little nose, the little fingers, little toes, arms, legs, everything! In my vision Mark and I would be laughing and talking about how excited we were and how amazing this all was.

So anyway, here we are, May 7th, 6 weeks and lots of waiting later. In preparation to have my vision come true I begged and finally harassed Mark into getting a sub so he could come with me. On the way down however, I got my first heartbreak. Mark informed me he wasn't coming in the room with me. I had informed him that I was still too early on to do an abdominal ultrasound and would likely be having a vaginal ultrasound. Mark said he didn't want to watch all that happen, but said if they could hear the heartbeat I could send a nurse to go get him for that. Ok, slight heartbreak mend. Anyway, we eventually got there and waited and waited and waited until I was finally called to come in. Once in the room I waited for another half an hour nearly ready to jump out of my skin. Finally, the doctor came in and proceeded to ask me the normal questions and talk about my vitals and symptoms and then said, well, I will send in a nurse to set up your next appointment. Wait. What? That was it? I asked her about a fetal doppler, to hear the heart. She said, "well, it's probably too early to hear anything so we'll wait and do that next time." My heart sank. So I asked her about the ultrasound. Apparently she had forgotten that the whole point of this appointment was to have the ultrasound. I nearly cried. Luckily, however, she said that if that's what I remembered her saying she would get a portable machine up there. Phew. So I overheard her asking a nurse to go get the machine. 15 minutes later I finally heard the nurse say, "well, I have to go get an ultrasound machine." 15 more minutes later the doctor came in with the ultrasound machine and began the procedure only to find out that neither the vaginal or the abdominal stick thing were working. I wanted to scream! I had been in that room for 2 stinking hours and still had nothing to show for it. What happened to my vision??? So she went back out of the room with the machine to see if any one else could get either probe thing to work. As luck would finally have it, a nurse fixed the abdominal one. Back in my room she came, with a warning that since I was only 12 weeks the chances of seeing much with an abdominal ultrasound were small. At least I was getting something, and I have to hand it to the doctor for sticking it out through all this, especially when she hadn't planned on doing an ultrasound at all. Thank you, doctor! :) At this point my luck really began to turn. Not only could we see it, but we could make out a little face, arms, legs, and even fingers! It wasn't as clear as I envisioned or as big, but it was still a baby - my baby! And even better - it was moving around like a maniac! Kicking, squirming, rolling, flipping, punching! It was so cute, I could have watched forever! I'm just sad that Mark wasn't there. The doctor did her best to get a good profile picture and a picture of the legs and arms, but she said it was moving around so much she was lucky to get anything at all. We did get one decent picture of the profile, though it is kind of hard to make out. Would it have been clearer with a vaginal ultrasound? Much. And although my appointment didn't quite turn out as I envisioned, I am just thankful for what I did get and that I was able to see it move and that it's healthy and strong and my baby! It made it so fun, exciting, and real! That's my baby! Anyway, here is a picture of the profile. I will do my best to explain what's what. Again this is a picture of a picture. We really need to invest in a good scanner.

Ok so, the white circular thing, in the black hole, on the right is the head. The white circular thing, in the black hole, on the left is the body. And if you look really hard you can see a grayish blob on the far left of the black hole, those are the legs. Ok so back to the head. It looks kind of like Yoda to me, but if you look at the center of the head you can see kind of an elfish looking ear. The face is facing the left, slightly up. So if you look at the left, uppish side of the head you can see a black/gray indentation - that's an eye. Then a little bit down a little black/gray blob - that's the nose (the nose and eye kind of blend together a bit. You have to use your imagination). A bit further down, a black line - that's the mouth. And finally the jaw line which starts the indentation between the head and the body. Did you make it out? I can see it perfectly now that I've studied it and had the doctor point things out to me. During the actual ultrasound it looked much clearer. I even saw little fingers and the mouth open and close and it was just so cute I can't stand it! I am just so excited and happy!

10 weeks (and a little)

2009-04-24T20:43:00.000-07:00

I am officially in the double digits! 10 1/2 weeks! Why does it feel like everyone else's pregnancies move so much quicker - like my weeks are twice as long or something? Although, last night Mark asked me if I was 7 or 8 weeks. Excuse me? Where have you been? He was very surprised to hear he was 2 to 3 1/2 weeks behind. So apparently time is moving fast for him. I don't have much to update - I look the same and for the most part feel the same. My hunger is increasing, which for me means I can finally eat something other than yogurt and crackers. YAY!! Some days are better than others. Yesterday I hardly felt sick at all and ate a full dinner, chicken and all. That's right. I ate chicken. Other days, however, leave me scowling at my food rather than eating it. I have to say though that the good days are beginning to out number the bad days! I may be coming to the end of this first trimester after all. We get our 12 week ultrasound on May 7th - just a week and a half away. I will post pictures then.

The baby on the other hand is making lots and lots of changes. Right now it should be somewhere between 1 1/2 inches and 2 inches, probably reaching 2 inches by 11 weeks. What a big baby! 2 inches seems humongous to me. I've been keeping track as this baby has gone from the size of the period at the end of the sentence, to the size of a blueberry, to the size of a raspberry, and now 2 inches! It has separate fingers and toes, no more tail, and is growing a little face. Did you know that each minute it develops 25,000 neurons? I feel like I'm losing that many. Yesterday at church I couldn't remember the young women's theme, something I have been saying since I was 12. And at school I couldn't remember how to play a song I have had memorized for years. Words escape me often and I find myself having blonde moments more often then not. Come back brain! All in all, I am happy that so far things are going so well. Just a couple more weeks until we make this baby official news!

8 weeks and 5 days

2009-04-15T14:28:00.000-07:00

I am two days away from my 9 week mark, so I would just round up and say these are my 9 week pictures. Right now the baby should be about 1-1 1/2 inches long and my uterus a bit bigger than a large grapefruit. According to my little widget thing, my baby is starting to look a bit more human! YAY!! I am looking a bit bigger, but that could be bloat as much as it is baby. And needless to say I am completely relaxed so I let it all hang out - that is as big as I could possibly be. Let's just say its all baby :) I happen to be one of those crazy people who want to show fast. Though, I might change my mind once it actually happens and once I have to try to get it all back off, but for the time being - grow baby grow!

A bit blurry, but it's closer. What do you think - baby or bloat??

In symptom news, I have been feeling much better since the 8 week mark. I hope it sticks around. I still feel sick, but usually it goes away once I eat. I still have an aversion to almost everything, especially chicken and hamburger!! UGH! Just the thought.....nasty! I am becoming a pregnancy induced vegetarian. However, my appetite and energy level are also coming back little by little. In another month I hope to be eating like normal. Keep your fingers crossed that this lasts and I just keep getting better.

Back to School

2009-04-14T17:40:00.000-07:00

Today was my first day back at school as a pregnant woman. Well I guess technically I was working from week 1-5, but I didn't feel pregnant then. Now after a 3 week, spring break sabbatical I am back on duty at 8 1/2 weeks. I managed to stay in denial mode until last night, then I started to get a bit scared. What if I get sick? What if I'm so tired I can't handle it? What if I get so tired, it makes me sick? What if I get so moody I yell at the kids for no reason? What if I cry for no reason? What if I don't have access to enough food? What if I just can't make it through our ridiculously long day? Now, I have been very lucky to have been spared the throwing up constant nausea thing and I have actually seen a decrease in the intense nausea in the past few days. My appetite and energy are even slowly but surely returning, with bad days here and there. But what if I had a bad day at school?? So last night found me praying with every ounce of faith I could muster that I would have the health and energy to make it through my first day back. Prayers are answered! Today was better than I could have imagined. My high school students were almost pleasant! I felt totally fine, as long as I ate, until 2:45 with only 45 minutes left of school. I made it through all my classes with a smile on my face (although I did start to droop a bit around 1:00 - teaching is tiring business). I can only hope for as much success my 2nd day. Wish me luck!

Special Day

2009-03-29T20:34:00.001-07:00

This is a special day because I only felt sick for 2 hours!!!! Food! Glorious Food! I ate today and liked it!

Ultrasound

2009-03-25T17:48:00.000-07:00

Today I went and had my first ultrasound! The technician was very nice and kept telling me that I can finally cry tears of joy. She looked around to make sure everything was ok and then showed me this:

I almost did cry tears of joy! This isn't the best copy. Mark took a picture of the ultrasound picture with photo booth - so this is a picture of a picture of a picture. But you can see the little white spot which is the baby! She even showed me the little heartbeat. She said I measured at exactly 5 weeks and 5 days, giving me a due date of November 20th - just like I thought. I am so happy and so grateful that everything is going so well and that the baby seems strong! Keep the prayers coming!

In other news, the pregnancy symptoms have definitely begun. This baby better be strong! I have morning sickness randomly throughout the day, sometimes all day. I haven't thrown up yet (knock on wood) and I am thankful for that. I am pretty much NEVER hungry and only eat because I know I have to - which at times eases the nausea and at other times makes it worse. I am just waiting for the cravings to kick in (at least then I will want to eat something - even if it is pickles and peanut butter). I also have a slight bloody nose every morning when I blow my nose, fatigue, moodiness/weepiness (just ask Mark), sore and growing body parts, and gas (even my ultrasound technician commented on my bloatedness)!! I know - lovely isn't it? However, I am grateful, because symptoms mean growing baby and I am willing to go through this for a healthy baby. So there you have it. Here's to 2 more months of first trimester misery!

1st Prenatal Appointment

2009-03-18T12:38:00.000-07:00

Nothing much to say about this appointment except it was exactly what I expected. The first appointment is just the fill out the questionnaire, pee in a cup, donate half your blood to testing, and talk to a "prenatal intake nurse" for 30 minutes discussing your next appointments, your concerns, genetic screening, and of course your EDD (estimated due date). They did assign me a new doctor - a family doctor, but she says she does prenatal and labor and delivery. So technically she is not an OB. I told her that I had some complications with my last pregnancy, and she just said, "Well, if they start to repeat themselves we will get you a specialist." hmm... ok well ok. What do you say? The nice thing was that she was really eager today to please me so I got the beta hcg blood test I wanted, even though she said it wasn't necessary, and an ultrasound a week from today, then a week after that, then two weeks after that. So I should be sitting pretty as far as ultrasounds go. One more week and I should have some much better and more interesting news and maybe even a picture! :)

Second Chances

2009-03-14T16:36:00.001-07:00

Day 2 and I am ready to turn myself into an insane asylum for the paranoid pregnant patient. I told Mark today, "I wish I could go into a coma for the next two months. That way I wouldn't have to think about this pregnancy or what I am feeling or what I am not feeling. Just wake me up when we know he/she's alive and well." I think I literally had a nervous breakdown this morning when a symptom mysteriously disappeared. I am chalking that one up to the extra hormones. Guess I can't really judge that psycho Octomom for freaking out when her son went missing and she was pregnant with 8 babies!!! I'm barely even pregnant with 1 and I went psycho for pretty much no reason whatsoever. If there was such think as a pregnancy 911 I just might have called it to be reassured that all was well. So forgive me for my judgement and hypocrisy Octomom (although you are still psycho for numerous other reasons). Anyway the symptom has returned and I learned via some pregnancy website that symptoms can come and go. I also had a good long talk with Mark and a good long nap and I feel much better. So less then 24 hours have passed and I have failed to live up to my motto: Look unto Me in every thought, doubt not, fear not. Thank goodness for second chances.

4 Weeks and Counting

2009-03-13T18:53:00.001-07:00

So one of my new, out of control ideas was to take pictures of my ever growing belly. So here I am at 4 weeks. Aside from the frightening hair and face, I must say I look pretty good :) So here's to 9 months of increasing waist size!!

BFP (BIG FAT POSITIVE)

2009-03-13T18:20:00.001-07:00

So here's the rundown: Monday, March 9th, I started feeling my average PMS symptoms, minus a couple and with the addition of a couple new ones - that was actually what got me thinking - could this be it?? By Wednesday I was feeling pretty certain, but restrained myself from taking a test. Thursday I asked Mark if he thought I could be pregnant - he said, "no." Hmmmm. I decided (secretly) to take a test that next morning to see who was right. So after a sleepless night, I dragged myself out of bed at 4:30 am Friday morning, the 13th, (that's right - today is Friday the 13th - let's not read into that) and took a test. I couldn't watch. And then, "Pregnant." It's real! It's really happening! I am pregnant!!

I decided to play nonchalant and just see when Mark noticed. I left the test on the bathroom counter where Mark would have to see and went back to bed where I, obviously, still was unable to fall asleep. So I laid there until my alarm went off at 5:15. Acting all tired, I rolled out of bed to take a shower. When I was finished I woke up Mark and got back in bed to read my scriptures. I kept glancing at the door or straining my ears to see if I could tell if Mark had seen the test and if he even cared. I sat through his whole shower. When he finally decided to grace me with is presence, he walked to the space heater and stood there. Hmph! Is he really that blind or could he really just not care? Well fine, two can play this game, I thought. I kept my eyes down, reading my scriptures, and secretly wondered who would stop this ridiculous showdown first, HAHA!! NOT I!! Within a minute Mark was running at me like a linebacker. I covered my stomach (I am already very protective) and waited for the tackle. He jumped on the bed, hugged and kissed me, and said, "When were you planning on telling me, huh?" It was beyond the response I expected and I was ecstatic! If anyone knows Mark, they know that he isn't into big showy expressions of emotion and believe me, this was a bit abnormal for Mark - especially it having to do with pregnancy. He has been extremely patient with my obsession, but I have felt it wear on his nerves a bit. So needless to say, the excitement that I saw in his face and the love that he showed made my day even better! We continued our morning ritual, the drive to work, the drive home from work, and our evening together discussing this new addition to our lives. What about work? Money? Will we need a new car? We need a fence. We still have time for that. Do you want grass? We're jumping ahead of ourselves here. Hey are you scared? What if something bad happens? This will be good. Don't worry. When should we tell people? When should I call the dr? Should we switch insurance? Take a picture of me. You are out of control. Eat up, you are eating for two. You started a blog? Again, you are out of control. Did you take your prenatal vitamins? I don't want a deformed kid. Will you give me a blessing? I have to go to the bathroom again. Etc etc etc. Anyway, I have decided that I wanted to document this first pregnancy. If something happens then it happens and I will document that too. For now, I am excited to find the humorous, the joyful, and maybe the nerve racking and scary aspects of this new adventure in our lives. Mark may think I am out of control, and I just may be, but hopefully someday we will look back on this and laugh and cry and remember.

An Introduction (of sorts)

2009-03-13T17:02:00.000-07:00

Most the people reading this blog will know that this past August, Mark and I found out we were pregnant after 5 months of trying (and a year more of me just wanting to try). At the time we were currently moving into a new house and I was ecstatic! I felt beyond grateful for the blessings in my life - a wonderful husband, good jobs, a new house, and a baby on the way! What more could I ask for? However, before the pregnancy could even get underway, I began feeling uneasy and worried. People told me I was being paranoid and that more than likely everything would be perfect. I struggled to agree and find the peace I earned for. A week and a half into my pregnancy I started bleeding and after days of bad news, and moments of miracles, we lost the baby. I was devastated, but knew that I could turn to the Lord for healing.

The complications of the miscarriage made it so we were given a waiting period before we could try again. Finally by the end of December we were given the go ahead and I launched into it with reckless abandon - ovulation tests, daily temperature taking, chart reading, day counting, research, you name it - I was involved. However, after two months of let down I was done. I was sick of counting, testing, and charting. I was sick of the obsession. I told Mark, "That's it - no more of this nonsense. We are going to live our lives like normal people." And so I embarked on my new journey of independence. I tossed the tests, hid the thermometer, and refused to write the days of my cycle on the calendar. I began to plan a summer trip, agreed to work full time teaching kindergarten next year, tried to spend more time with Mark, and less time thinking about myself and believe it or not - it was working! I was happy, I felt fulfilled, I was ok. And sure enough, this is the month it happens! After I don't know how many people told me that the sooner I got on with my life, the sooner I would get pregnant - here I am - pregnant! Am I still worried? You better believe it. But I am trying to put my trust in Heavenly Father and leave that burden to him. I know that I could lose this one too. I know there could be complications again. And for that reason Mark and I are being a bit more cautious and are keeping this wonderful blessing to ourselves for the time being. However, I am also aware that more likely than not, this pregnancy will be fine and that the baby will be healthy and normal. And I am striving to give up that worry and just have faith. Today in my scriptures I read in D&C 6 where it says, "Look unto Me in every thought; doubt not, fear not." There were several other good verses and stories, but that is my new motto! So, here we go! Our adventure to parenthood begins!