Ugh!

Ok.... I want to know why my morning sickness decided to return!  For a couple weeks there I was feeling great!  I even gained 4 pounds!  My doctor would have been so proud.  But this past week I am feeling sick again every night and if I don't eat.  What is up with that?  So, it's not as bad as the first trimester, but still!  I want to be pigging out.  The food aversions are even kind of back.  My What To Expect While You're Expecting book says that I should be getting hungrier.... not less hungry.  However, I do have this weird thing that I can eat a lot of what I don't make.  Weird?  If I make dinner I can hardly force down a moderate sized helping, but if Mark makes it or someone else I'm all about it.  I really don't get it.  Eh well, at least it is better than the first trimester and maybe it will be short lived.  

In other news, a week from today we find out what we're having!!!!!  YAY!!!!!     

Update

I still haven't taken any new pictures.  I have tried to take a picture of myself in the mirror, but it really hasn't worked, so I'll have to get Mark to take one someday here pretty soon.  Anyway, I will give a little update:

I am 15 weeks 3 days.  Yay!  I hardly ever feel sick anymore which is nice and I have hardly any food aversions.  However, I don't necessarily ever really feel hungry.  I am still waiting for the massive appetite to kick in.  I had my first craving: Mongolian BBQ.  I wanted it so bad but unfortunately the closest restaurant to our house was in San Diego!  I was about ready to hop in the car and make the drive down.  Why did my first craving have to be something I couldn't have?  How ironic.  I am getting more round ligament pains or growing pains now.  Sometimes they really hurt!  People keep asking me if I have felt the baby move yet and in reply I say, "I don't think so."  I feel all sorts of gurgles, pops, rumbles, flutters, and stretches.  But I still think I'm too early on and the baby is too small.  Who knows, maybe one of these days I will realize that all along some of those feelings was actually the baby.  I look generally unpregnant, although I have been unable to button my pants for a few weeks now.  I even went and bought a B band, or belly band.  They're wonderful inventions - seriously!  Just a piece of stretchy material placed over the waistline of your unbuttoned, unzipped pants, but wonderful nonetheless.  Friends have commented on my little pooch, but unless I'm wearing a tight shirt you would never know...and even then a stranger would never pick me out of a crowd as a pregnant lady.  I think I am growing wider before I grow out.  My hips are already expanding and my waist is nonexistent - so there ya have it.  I'll let the picture I'll post soon do most the talking.  

Today I had my 16 week appointment, a bit early, but close enough.  This was the magic appointment where I would get to hear the heartbeat!  However, Saturday night found me with a sore throat and by last night I was near death.  Stupid cold/flu.  I always wonder...how does your body create so much mucus?  And what nasty cells make muscles cramp and ache??  I want to breathe again!  I spent most my time last night blowing my nose or writhing in pain.  This morning I tried to call and reschedule but they had nothing.  So with 3 hours of sleep under my belt I took the advice of my mom to start practicing being a mom and suck it up.  I drove the hour long trip down to my doctor.  Fortunately, a hot shower and getting off my rear end took away a lot of the aches and pains and just left me with a minor headache (probably from lack of sleep) and a ridiculously stuffed nose.  Once at the appointment, my baby continued to be an acrobat.  The doctor could only grab little faint heartbeats for split seconds before the little booger moved and we lost it.  All I can say is this baby better cooperate on June 22 when we go in to find the gender.  So far he/she has been quite the evader.  At first I just thought she couldn't find it and I started to freak out a bit.  Especially after she said, "Hmmm I might have to do an ultrasound again if I can't get anything."  Ultrasounds are great...but I wanted to hear the lub dub!  Finally after 5 minutes (ok it was probably only 1 minute) she finally got a nice strong heartbeat!  This time I did almost cry!  I can't believe that that is inside me - living and growing!  She measured me too and said I measured in the norm, but I kind of caught on that I was on the small end of norm.  She told me my measurements were "ok" and that I would probably be getting a new due date come the 22nd.  Great - add more time.  Just keep your fingers crossed, maybe the baby will go through a growth spurt between now and then.  She also got on me for not gaining any weight yet, but said as long as I start gaining more by 20 weeks I'm ok.  I really don't understand how I could have a pooch, plus lose my waist and still have gained nothing.  Eh well.  I guess my goal is to pig out.  Now if only my appetite would cooperate.    

All in all, I feel pretty good (minus this ridiculous cold I currently have) and I am getting more and more excited!  Almost at the half way mark!  

Officially

Ok.... so really, I'm officially 12 weeks today - not yesterday.  I was just a little eager beaver to make the post.  

12 weeks

(This is long, so if you want to skip it and just get to the picture, scroll down to the end).

According to some, my first trimester is officially over!!!  YAY!!!  Then again, according to others it's not officially over until 13 weeks....so whatever I say it's over!  This is such a huge milestone for me!  I feel so grateful and blessed to have made it this far!  1/3 of the way done 2/3 to go.  I can do it!  In updates, I feel the same: still feel sick in the evening and at night, but feel good in the morning.  I'm eating a bit more, but still have food aversions.  I am showing more, well to me I am.  I think it's pretty obvious, but how many times have I heard my friends say that only to have me look them skeptically up and down and claim that they look exactly the same.  Now I know their pain.  I'll take pictures soon to prove it.  Anyway, the exciting thing is that I had a doctors appointment today.  First, we must travel back several weeks to understand my excitement behind this appointment . . . . .

 If you can recall, at my very first appointment, I was led to assume that I would be having an ultrasound at 5 1/2, 6 1/2, and 8 weeks.  Anyway, I had the 5 1/2 week ultrasound, which is when I saw the blackhole and white dot baby.  Then the day before my 6 1/2 week appointment I spotted a teeny tiny bit, enough to freak me out.  So I assumed for sure I would have an ultrasound the following day at my appointment.  However, when I came in, the doctor did a regular pelvic exam and said I wasn't bleeding anymore and that I was fine.  Then she informed me she wouldn't be doing the ultrasound after all, as I had just had one the week previous.  I know the baby probably hadn't changed much or at least as far as an ultrasound would pick up, but my worried little heart wanted assurance!  I wasn't about to get any, because the doctor continued by canceling my 8 week appointment and "assuring" me that I would have an ultrasound at 20 weeks!  WHAT????  20 weeks????  What had happened to all my ultrasounds?  I begged her to make another appointment earlier than that just to ease my troubled mind.  She relented and sent up an appointment for 12 weeks.  So for 6 weeks I lived with May 7th in mind.  I looked at youtube and google images of ultrasound pictures and videos at 12 weeks.  You could see everything!  It was so clear!  I read pregnancy articles about hearing the heart beat at 12 weeks.  In my head I formed this vision of what this appointment would be like.  The lub dub of the little heartbeat, followed by a small glimpse into baby's life and movement - so clear that I could see the little nose, the little fingers, little toes, arms, legs, everything!  In my vision Mark and I would be laughing and talking about how excited we were and how amazing this all was.  

So anyway, here we are, May 7th, 6 weeks and lots of waiting later.  In preparation to have my vision come true I begged and finally harassed Mark into getting a sub so he could come with me.  On the way down however, I got my first heartbreak.  Mark informed me he wasn't coming in the room with me.  I had informed him that I was still too early on to do an abdominal ultrasound and would likely be having a vaginal ultrasound.  Mark said he didn't want to watch all that happen, but said if they could hear the heartbeat I could send a nurse to go get him for that.  Ok, slight heartbreak mend.  Anyway, we eventually got there and waited and waited and waited until I was finally called to come in.  Once in the room I waited for another half an hour nearly ready to jump out of my skin.  Finally, the doctor came in and proceeded to ask me the normal questions and talk about my vitals and symptoms and then said, well, I will send in a nurse to set up your next appointment.  Wait.  What?  That was it?  I asked her about a fetal doppler, to hear the heart.  She said, "well, it's probably too early to hear anything so we'll wait and do that next time."  My heart sank.  So I asked her about the ultrasound.  Apparently she had forgotten that the whole point of this appointment was to have the ultrasound.  I nearly cried.  Luckily, however, she said that if that's what I remembered her saying she would get a portable machine up there.  Phew.  So I overheard her asking a nurse to go get the machine.  15 minutes later I finally heard the nurse say, "well, I have to go get an ultrasound machine."  15 more minutes later the doctor came in with the ultrasound machine and began the procedure only to find out that neither the vaginal or the abdominal stick thing were working.  I wanted to scream!  I had been in that room for 2 stinking hours and still had nothing to show for it.  What happened to my vision???  So she went back out of the room with the machine to see if any one else could get either probe thing to work.  As luck would finally have it, a nurse fixed the abdominal one.  Back in my room she came, with a warning that since I was only 12 weeks the chances of seeing much with an abdominal ultrasound were small.  At least I was getting something, and I have to hand it to the doctor for sticking it out through all this, especially when she hadn't planned on doing an ultrasound at all.  Thank you, doctor! :)  At this point my luck really began to turn.  Not only could we see it, but we could make out a little face, arms, legs, and even fingers!  It wasn't as clear as I envisioned or as big, but it was still a baby - my baby!  And even better - it was moving around like a maniac!  Kicking, squirming, rolling, flipping, punching!  It was so cute, I could have watched forever!  I'm just sad that Mark wasn't there.  The doctor did her best to get a good profile picture and a picture of the legs and arms, but she said it was moving around so much she was lucky to get anything at all.  We did get one decent picture of the profile, though it is kind of hard to make out.  Would it have been clearer with a vaginal ultrasound?  Much.  And although my appointment didn't quite turn out as I envisioned, I am just thankful for what I did get and that I was able to see it move and that it's healthy and strong and my baby!  It made it so fun, exciting, and real!  That's my baby!  Anyway, here is a picture of the profile.  I will do my best to explain what's what.  Again this is a picture of a picture.  We really need to invest in a good scanner.      

Ok so, the white circular thing, in the black hole, on the right is the head.  The white circular thing, in the black hole, on the left is the body.  And if you look really hard you can see a grayish blob on the far left of the black hole, those are the legs.  Ok so back to the head.  It looks kind of like Yoda to me, but if you look at the center of the head you can see kind of an elfish looking ear.  The face is facing the left, slightly up.  So if you look at the left, uppish side of the head you can see a black/gray indentation - that's an eye.  Then a little bit down a little black/gray blob - that's the nose (the nose and eye kind of blend together a bit.  You have to use your imagination).  A bit further down, a black line - that's the mouth.  And finally the jaw line which starts the indentation between the head and the body.  Did you make it out?  I can see it perfectly now that I've studied it and had the doctor point things out to me.  During the actual ultrasound it looked much clearer.  I even saw little fingers and the mouth open and close and it was just so cute I can't stand it!  I am just so excited and happy!     

10 weeks (and a little)

I am officially in the double digits!  10 1/2 weeks!  Why does it feel like everyone else's pregnancies move so much quicker - like my weeks are twice as long or something?  Although, last night Mark asked me if I was 7 or 8 weeks.  Excuse me?  Where have you been?  He was very surprised to hear he was 2 to 3 1/2 weeks behind.  So apparently time is moving fast for him.  I don't have much to update - I look the same and for the most part feel the same.  My hunger is increasing, which for me means I can finally eat something other than yogurt and crackers.  YAY!!  Some days are better than others.  Yesterday I hardly felt sick at all and ate a full dinner, chicken and all.  That's right.  I ate chicken.  Other days, however, leave me scowling at my food rather than eating it.  I have to say though that the good days are beginning to out number the bad days!  I may be coming to the end of this first trimester after all.  We get our 12 week ultrasound on May 7th - just a week and a half away.  I will post pictures then. 

The baby on the other hand is making lots and lots of changes.  Right now it should be somewhere between 1 1/2 inches and 2 inches, probably reaching 2 inches by 11 weeks.  What a big baby!  2 inches seems humongous to me.  I've been keeping track as this baby has gone from the size of the period at the end of the sentence, to the size of a blueberry, to the size of a raspberry, and now 2 inches!  It has separate fingers and toes, no more tail, and is growing a little face.  Did you know that each minute it develops 25,000 neurons?  I feel like I'm losing that many.  Yesterday at church I couldn't remember the young women's theme, something I have been saying since I was 12.  And at school I couldn't remember how to play a song I have had memorized for years.  Words escape me often and I find myself having blonde moments more often then not.  Come back brain!  All in all, I am happy that so far things are going so well.  Just a couple more weeks until we make this baby official news!  

8 weeks and 5 days

I am two days away from my 9 week mark, so I would just round up and say these are my 9 week pictures.  Right now the baby should be about 1-1 1/2 inches long and my uterus a bit bigger than a large grapefruit.  According to my little widget thing, my baby is starting to look a bit more human!  YAY!!  I am looking a bit bigger, but that could be bloat as much as it is baby.  And needless to say I am completely relaxed so I let it all hang out - that is as big as I could possibly be.  Let's just say its all baby :)  I happen to be one of those crazy people who want to show fast.  Though, I might change my mind once it actually happens and once I have to try to get it all back off, but for the time being - grow baby grow!    

A bit blurry, but it's closer.  What do you think - baby or bloat??  

In symptom news, I have been feeling much better since the 8 week mark.  I hope it sticks around.  I still feel sick, but usually it goes away once I eat.  I still have an aversion to almost everything, especially chicken and hamburger!!  UGH!  Just the thought.....nasty!  I am becoming a pregnancy induced vegetarian.  However, my appetite and energy level are also coming back little by little.  In another month I hope to be eating like normal.  Keep your fingers crossed that this lasts and I just keep getting better.  

Back to School

Today was my first day back at school as a pregnant woman.  Well I guess technically I was working from week 1-5, but I didn't feel pregnant then.  Now after a 3 week, spring break sabbatical I am back on duty at 8 1/2 weeks.  I managed to stay in denial mode until last night, then I started to get a bit scared.  What if I get sick?  What if I'm so tired I can't handle it?  What if I get so tired, it makes me sick?  What if I get so moody I yell at the kids for no reason?  What if I cry for no reason?  What if I don't have access to enough food?  What if I just can't make it through our ridiculously long day?  Now, I have been very lucky to have been spared the throwing up constant nausea thing and I have actually seen a decrease in the intense nausea in the past few days.  My appetite and energy are even slowly but surely returning, with bad days here and there.  But what if I had a bad day at school??  So last night found me praying with every ounce of faith I could muster that I would have the health and energy to make it through my first day back.  Prayers are answered!  Today was better than I could have imagined.  My high school students were almost pleasant!  I felt totally fine, as long as I ate, until 2:45 with only 45 minutes left of school.  I made it through all my classes with a smile on my face (although I did start to droop a bit around 1:00 - teaching is tiring business).  I can only hope for as much success my 2nd day.  Wish me luck!