Bad News

Yesterday afternoon I started bleeding and cramping a little. I was pretty sure I was miscarrying so I called Kaiser. With my history of ectopic they wanted me to go to urgent care, which I did. I arrived down in Fontana at 8:30 pm and luckily was seen right away in urgent care. The doctor gave me a pelvic exam and said I had no ongoing bleeding and my cervix was closed. She also said my uterus was enlarged so she felt like everything would be ok and I would go on to have a normal pregnancy. Just to be safe she sent me for a "stat" ultrasound and some blood work, including a quantitative hcg. I was disappointed to know that I would have to wait for the results of these tests in the ER before they would let me go home to make sure I didn't have an ectopic. I hoped that because I was being SENT to the ER rather than walking in by my own choice I wouldn't have to wait. Boy was I ever wrong!! I got in right away for the ultrasound and blood work, but once I walked into ER everything slowed to a halt. The ER was packed. They had me in the computer as "expected" but they said I still had to wait for a bed and that the current wait was about 2 hours. I was pretty mad! I waited about an hour before I went up to the check in nurse again and asked as politely as I could if there was any way to speak to a doctor. All I wanted were the results. I didn't want to wait 2 hours or more just for them to walk in and give me the results and send me home. She said they had moved me up but I still had to wait my turn. I WAS FUMING! If I had known all this crap was going to happen I wouldn't have called Kaiser until today. Eventually I was called back where I waited for yet another hour for the doctor to come in and tell me..... wait for it.... they couldn't tell for sure. AHHHHHHHHHHH! The doctor said my hcg was relatively low, 957, but as long as it doubled it was still ok. The ultrasound showed a sac, but no fetal pole, but that could be because I am so early. The only thing they could tell me for relative certainty was that it was not ectopic, which I am grateful for. I then waited another hour before they gave me my rhogam shot and discharged me. I didn't get home until 2:15 am. So I waited HOURS for them to tell me they weren't sure and send me home. I was pretty mad. I do have another hcg test scheduled for saturday. That test should give me more info. If it doubles then its a viable pregnancy. If not, then it's a miscarriage. So now I just wait. Of course I hope that this is all a big mistake. But I have a feeling it's not. I still have no symptoms and emotionally the pregnancy doesn't even feel real. In a way that has helped me and protected me during this whole process. I haven't been too sad, disappointed yes, but not sad. Maybe that will change when I actually know for certain its not viable, but for now I'm ok. I just pray that this coming test is conclusive and I don't have to wait longer to know for sure. So there you have it, this pregnancy might just be over before it has really even begun.