Monday, March 23, 2015

Life Always Changes

I broke my get pregnant on the first try streak. We tried in January and nothing. I was kind of surprised. I had totally expected a positive. I would later find out that it was actually a blessing. We planned on trying in February and then if still negative taking a break until August or so. We wanted to be able to have a fun summer and a sick mommy does not equal a fun summer! In reality I never expected to have to take that break. I full heartedly believed that I would get pregnant in January or February. Getting pregnant has never been my problem!

A couple days before I was supposed to ovulate in February I started having lower left sided pain. I thought it was just gas or constipation and that it would go away in a couple days. Instead it got worse and worse. A day and a half later I was in excruciating pain! More pain than I've experienced ever before! Finally early Saturday morning Mark suggested we go to the ER. You know it's bad if Mark is suggesting the ER. To make a long story short. I ended up being admitted into the hospital (my second ambulance ride in less than 5 months!) with a severe infection in my fallopian tube (called salpingitis), a tubo-ovarian abscess the size of an orange, and sepsis!! I was severely ill!! I was on constant IV fluids, and 3 different IV antibiotics for 4 days. I was finally discharged and released with 2 different oral antibiotics. It took me about 2 weeks to feel normal. I still have some left sided pain, especially when I ovulate or am bloated. My doctor said that there is still inflammation in my abdomen and when things move around or become swollen or tender (like they do during ovulation and gas) it will cause pain. I will probably have inflammation for a while - possibly up to 6 months. I have had a couple follow up appointments and I am still waiting on the results of the final ultrasound. It will show if the abscess is still there, if my fallopian tube is clear or damaged. Hopefully everything is fine. If not, I may need surgery to either drain the abscess or possibly remove the abscess and the tube with it. I feel ready to accept whatever the outcome. Because of this, I do have a higher chance of ectopic pregnancy on that side because of scar tissue, or my tube could be completely blocked causing infertility on that side. But I still have my right side and that's all it takes! It just might take a little longer. I also have a higher chance of getting salpingitis again, but not too incredibly high. Now that I know what to look for and now that I have a record of this, my doctors will be more on top of it, and so will I!

So, as you can see, it was a blessing I didn't get pregnant in January. I can only imagine how much worse that infection would have been if I was pregnant. I'm assuming it would have killed the baby or possibly would have required me to choose a purposeful miscarriage to save my own life. I don't really know, but I do know it would have made things way more complicated! In fact, at one of my follow up appointments my doctor said he wouldn't be surprised if I had had this infection just stewing below the surface for the past year causing my miscarriages!! It actually makes sense. A year ago I had left sided pain that was never officially diagnosed. All they found was a small cyst on my left fallopian tube. (a cyst on my fallopian tube that was quite possibly the beginning of the tubo-ovarian cyst!!!) I had pain on that side off and on during the year, but I didn't think much of it. I can't believe that after all might have been causing all this! UGH! But at least its taken care of now. My doctor said he thinks my next pregnancy will go much better! :) 

It was also a blessing that we had already planned on taking a break from trying because after all this I need a break. I do mentally, emotionally, and physically. After 2 miscarriages (one requiring a D&C and blood transfusion) and now this.... it's time for me to focus on me and the family I do have! My poor family has had to deal with so many ups and downs over the past year and we all need time to heal and spend time together. If anything this and the other experiences I've had this past year have taught me a lot and given me empathy, gratitude, and perspective. I feel I have grown tremendously and am changing for the better. I suppose that is the purpose of trials after all. I am planning on making this spring and summer our final big bang before we jump head first into pregnancy and having a brand new baby and starting that whole process all over again. It'll be a good one!