12 weeks

(This is long, so if you want to skip it and just get to the picture, scroll down to the end).

According to some, my first trimester is officially over!!!  YAY!!!  Then again, according to others it's not officially over until 13 weeks....so whatever I say it's over!  This is such a huge milestone for me!  I feel so grateful and blessed to have made it this far!  1/3 of the way done 2/3 to go.  I can do it!  In updates, I feel the same: still feel sick in the evening and at night, but feel good in the morning.  I'm eating a bit more, but still have food aversions.  I am showing more, well to me I am.  I think it's pretty obvious, but how many times have I heard my friends say that only to have me look them skeptically up and down and claim that they look exactly the same.  Now I know their pain.  I'll take pictures soon to prove it.  Anyway, the exciting thing is that I had a doctors appointment today.  First, we must travel back several weeks to understand my excitement behind this appointment . . . . .

 If you can recall, at my very first appointment, I was led to assume that I would be having an ultrasound at 5 1/2, 6 1/2, and 8 weeks.  Anyway, I had the 5 1/2 week ultrasound, which is when I saw the blackhole and white dot baby.  Then the day before my 6 1/2 week appointment I spotted a teeny tiny bit, enough to freak me out.  So I assumed for sure I would have an ultrasound the following day at my appointment.  However, when I came in, the doctor did a regular pelvic exam and said I wasn't bleeding anymore and that I was fine.  Then she informed me she wouldn't be doing the ultrasound after all, as I had just had one the week previous.  I know the baby probably hadn't changed much or at least as far as an ultrasound would pick up, but my worried little heart wanted assurance!  I wasn't about to get any, because the doctor continued by canceling my 8 week appointment and "assuring" me that I would have an ultrasound at 20 weeks!  WHAT????  20 weeks????  What had happened to all my ultrasounds?  I begged her to make another appointment earlier than that just to ease my troubled mind.  She relented and sent up an appointment for 12 weeks.  So for 6 weeks I lived with May 7th in mind.  I looked at youtube and google images of ultrasound pictures and videos at 12 weeks.  You could see everything!  It was so clear!  I read pregnancy articles about hearing the heart beat at 12 weeks.  In my head I formed this vision of what this appointment would be like.  The lub dub of the little heartbeat, followed by a small glimpse into baby's life and movement - so clear that I could see the little nose, the little fingers, little toes, arms, legs, everything!  In my vision Mark and I would be laughing and talking about how excited we were and how amazing this all was.  

So anyway, here we are, May 7th, 6 weeks and lots of waiting later.  In preparation to have my vision come true I begged and finally harassed Mark into getting a sub so he could come with me.  On the way down however, I got my first heartbreak.  Mark informed me he wasn't coming in the room with me.  I had informed him that I was still too early on to do an abdominal ultrasound and would likely be having a vaginal ultrasound.  Mark said he didn't want to watch all that happen, but said if they could hear the heartbeat I could send a nurse to go get him for that.  Ok, slight heartbreak mend.  Anyway, we eventually got there and waited and waited and waited until I was finally called to come in.  Once in the room I waited for another half an hour nearly ready to jump out of my skin.  Finally, the doctor came in and proceeded to ask me the normal questions and talk about my vitals and symptoms and then said, well, I will send in a nurse to set up your next appointment.  Wait.  What?  That was it?  I asked her about a fetal doppler, to hear the heart.  She said, "well, it's probably too early to hear anything so we'll wait and do that next time."  My heart sank.  So I asked her about the ultrasound.  Apparently she had forgotten that the whole point of this appointment was to have the ultrasound.  I nearly cried.  Luckily, however, she said that if that's what I remembered her saying she would get a portable machine up there.  Phew.  So I overheard her asking a nurse to go get the machine.  15 minutes later I finally heard the nurse say, "well, I have to go get an ultrasound machine."  15 more minutes later the doctor came in with the ultrasound machine and began the procedure only to find out that neither the vaginal or the abdominal stick thing were working.  I wanted to scream!  I had been in that room for 2 stinking hours and still had nothing to show for it.  What happened to my vision???  So she went back out of the room with the machine to see if any one else could get either probe thing to work.  As luck would finally have it, a nurse fixed the abdominal one.  Back in my room she came, with a warning that since I was only 12 weeks the chances of seeing much with an abdominal ultrasound were small.  At least I was getting something, and I have to hand it to the doctor for sticking it out through all this, especially when she hadn't planned on doing an ultrasound at all.  Thank you, doctor! :)  At this point my luck really began to turn.  Not only could we see it, but we could make out a little face, arms, legs, and even fingers!  It wasn't as clear as I envisioned or as big, but it was still a baby - my baby!  And even better - it was moving around like a maniac!  Kicking, squirming, rolling, flipping, punching!  It was so cute, I could have watched forever!  I'm just sad that Mark wasn't there.  The doctor did her best to get a good profile picture and a picture of the legs and arms, but she said it was moving around so much she was lucky to get anything at all.  We did get one decent picture of the profile, though it is kind of hard to make out.  Would it have been clearer with a vaginal ultrasound?  Much.  And although my appointment didn't quite turn out as I envisioned, I am just thankful for what I did get and that I was able to see it move and that it's healthy and strong and my baby!  It made it so fun, exciting, and real!  That's my baby!  Anyway, here is a picture of the profile.  I will do my best to explain what's what.  Again this is a picture of a picture.  We really need to invest in a good scanner.      

Ok so, the white circular thing, in the black hole, on the right is the head.  The white circular thing, in the black hole, on the left is the body.  And if you look really hard you can see a grayish blob on the far left of the black hole, those are the legs.  Ok so back to the head.  It looks kind of like Yoda to me, but if you look at the center of the head you can see kind of an elfish looking ear.  The face is facing the left, slightly up.  So if you look at the left, uppish side of the head you can see a black/gray indentation - that's an eye.  Then a little bit down a little black/gray blob - that's the nose (the nose and eye kind of blend together a bit.  You have to use your imagination).  A bit further down, a black line - that's the mouth.  And finally the jaw line which starts the indentation between the head and the body.  Did you make it out?  I can see it perfectly now that I've studied it and had the doctor point things out to me.  During the actual ultrasound it looked much clearer.  I even saw little fingers and the mouth open and close and it was just so cute I can't stand it!  I am just so excited and happy!