The Call

I got the call you never ever want to get after an ultrasound. I have to meet with a geneticist and have a level II ultrasound on Thursday. Apparently the baby has a choroid plexus cyst or cysts on her brain. I guess most babies have these, but they only become a problem if they measure a certain size or bigger and only 1-3% of babies have that. The worst case scenario is that this could indicate trisomy 18, which is generally fatal. I think it can also be marker for regular down syndrome too. However, luckily most the time, about 99% of the time, it's nothing and the cyst(s) go away on their own and the baby is fine. For me, a chronic worrier, this is hard, even with the amazing odds. I've spent time crying and feeling her move and wondering what if.... I hate what ifs. It's almost surreal to feel her move and think that there could be something wrong with her. Something that could take her away from me. But NO! I refuse to think like that! I can't! More likely than not she is perfectly fine! I just have to be positive! I can't ruminate in what ifs. I am going to ask Mark for a blessing and luckily I only have to wait til Thursday for the ultrasound. Hopefully they'll be able to tell me right there and then what's going on. I will lean on my family and my Heavenly Father for support and strength. I know they will give it to me! I will update more on Thursday when I find out more.