Thursday, October 2, 2014

Missed Miscarriage

After being afraid of this for weeks and being told it only happens in 1% of pregnancies, it's happened to me. This morning was the Murphy's Law of mornings. We got out of here around 9:20 only to discover no gas, after getting gas we hit every single red light possible down Bear Valley, after finally making it onto the freeway we hit stop and go traffic through the pass, after finally getting down to Fontana with minutes to spare there were zero and I mean absolutely no parking spots. I had to park outside at a different building and walk. After finally getting into the building, we were told we were too late and would have to be squeezed in, so we sat in the waiting room for an hour and in the examination room for another 30 minutes or so. Oh and did I mention that my kids were with me during all this? I figured I was due some good news, but it wasn't going to happen. The doppler couldn't pick up a heart beat. At that point I knew what the outcome would be and surprisingly didn't feel surprised. I felt like I had known all along that this would be the end. I somehow knew I would have this missed miscarriage. Anyway, they rolled in a portable ultrasound machine and confirmed the fetal demise. The baby measured around 11 1/2 weeks - right when I started feeling better. When I told the doctor that, he said that made sense. Often times that's the only symptom of a missed miscarriage.

I have a follow up ultrasound tomorrow morning to officially confirm the fetal demise with a ultrasound tech and radiologist and to discuss my next move. The doctor today said its most likely too big to do naturally so I'll probably end up having a D&C - which is slightly terrifying. But at the same time now that I know it's gone I just want to move on. I don't need time to come to terms. I need time to heal and be with my family, not waiting for the miscarriage to happen.

The doctor also said since it's my second miscarriage in a row, and third overall they'll probably do a full work up on the fetus and on me to see what the heck is going on! Hopefully it's something easily fixed. It could just be a fluke, but who knows.

So there you have it. I'll write more tomorrow when I find out what the next step is.  

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